Many people initially think of "talking dirty" when they hear the words "erotic talk". But as I explain in my book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk: How to Entice, Excite and Enchant Your Lover with Words (Random House), the phrase means so much more than that.:

"Words are wonderful aphrodisiacs. With words you can stimulate the pleasure centers in your partner's mind so they send shivers of sensual delight through his entire body. With words you can help her become more relaxed and receptive to your touch. With words you can ignite his erotic imagination or lift her to the heights of unbridled passion. And with words you can melt the barriers that may be keeping you and your lover from experiencing the profound joy of a sacred union."

Certainly at well-timed moments, lusty, sexy words and phrases can ignite your passion and spice up your lovemaking. But other times, when the quality of your desire is more playful or tender, you may wish to access words that more accurately match your feelings. Or you may be feeling appreciative, wanting to validate your partner's exquisite skill as a lover. Similarly, there may be other moments when you would like to express the depth of emotional or spiritual connection you experience with your partner.

You may even sense a combination of feelings - passion, tenderness, appreciation, awe, in the same moment. Is it possible to find words that include these seemingly disparate emotions? The answer is an emphatic yes! What's more, you don't have to be what I call an "erotic troubadour" or verbal virtuoso to do so.

In the weeks and months to come, I'll be writing more about the different kinds of erotic talk in depth. To give you a taste of some of the ways you may ease into expressing your sensual feelings, here are some suggestions from my manual Your Daily Verbal Aphrodisiac: Sensual Suggestions and Romantic Enticements

1. In the form of erotic questioning:

"Baby, where on your body would you like me to trace the words "I love you"? (You might then add) "And would you like me to use my fingers, my lips, my tongue, or some other writing tool?"

2. In the form of erotic nurturing:

"I'm here to hold you, caress you, relax you, and love you, so let yourself surrender to my touch."

Other types of verbal aphrodisia that can enrich your lovemaking and deepen your relationship - from dating and courtship to long-term connection and marriage include:

Erotic appreciation and validation

Sensual feedback (creative ways to let your lover know how you're enjoying his/her loving.

Erotic requests (expressing your wants and needs in ways that arouse your partner)

Graphic sex talk (creative ways to give expression to your lusty, earthy feelings)

Fantasizing (provocative phrases to encourage sexual fantasy-sharing)

Erotic power play (words of dominance and surrender)

Erotic disclosure (sensual ways to express vulnerable feelings related to your sexuality)

Erotic devotion, communion and commitment (passionate ways to express profound feelings of love and a profound sense of connection)

May your love life be radiant and fulfilling.

Bonnie Gabriel, “The Professor of Pillow Talk”
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I help people express romantic and sexual desires in ways that create deep connection.
For my FREE manual: Verbal Charisma: How to Attract a Lover and Pave the Way to a Passionate Connection go to

Author's Bio: 

Bonnie Gabriel is the author of The Fine Art of Erotic Talk: How to Entice, Excite and Enchant Your Lover with Words (Random House). She holds an MA in counseling from New York University and has conducted seminars on sexual communication issues for such professional associations as the National Sexuality Symposium and the Association for Humanistic Psychology, as well as lay workshops for the Learning Annex,and sex ed classes for San Francisco State University. She also writes articles, reviews, and radio scripts on theater, film, and the history of American Popular song.