Right and wrong are a matter of personal opinion, this is the definition of morals. Your morals define what is right or wrong for you.

If you do things you feel are wrong, but then convince yourself it is acceptable or divert your attention from feeling what you did is wrong, that takes energy and builds guilt.

The worst part of it is that to deal with this moral conflict, you have to shut your mind from the accurate memory of the event. You will block out all or certain aspects of the event or create other imaginary aspects so you can deal with your moral conflict without it being a conscious conflict at all.

When this happens, the only way to maintain a sense of sanity and balance without feeling so much guilt you cannot bear with facing yourself, is to close your heart.

Our morals, one could say, reside in our heart. They are an integrated part and function of the basic foundation of our individual personality, and out ability to feel emotions and express ourself.

If we contradict our own code of moral conduct, we will subconsciously see ourselves as bad, evil and not worthy to receive anything good in life.

This is a key to self sabotage as well as the bizarre characteristic that some people have of not being able to accept a gift or any gesture of generosity. They do not feel worthy to receive anything good because they subconsciously feel they are bad due to having acted in contradiction to their own set of personal morals and will not see or deal with that due to the above described process of blotting it out.

This is how we get messed up. The solution is always found in the problem which means the solution is in your hands.

The problem is your particular set of morals. The solution is in objectively understanding your particular set of morals. The method to solve the problem is to question why you have chosen these morals and if they are valid at all, then to redefine your moral code.

Where did we each acquire or choose our own moral code? Was it our choice or was it thrust upon us due to culture or family tradition. Did you personally choose what your morals should be?

I personally have my own set of morals which I could believe I have chosen, the things I consider right and wrong. If I go against those self imposed rules, I know that I will have to shut my heart so that my mind will be able to rest in the belief that I have not contradicted my set of rules on how I should live and function without guilt, otherwise, I will just be lost in guilt. Shutting down, even a little, is a very unhealthy thing to do.

It is possible that ultimately, I have not chosen my morals but have accepted them as mine due to my upbringing and the morals I learnt from my grandfather. I have also learnt contrary morals from some people. These are my morals which are polar opposites of their morals and ways of behavior.

Morals can be emulations or rejections of other peoples personality traits. Regardless of the source, I have accepted them and am constantly aware not cross them. In this way, my mind is calm and my heart can rest.

What I chose to do as I became aware of how my moral compass rules my life was to determine my own morals by examining each one I had and tested them through my life experiences to see what makes sense for me in todays world. What do I feel is right or wrong, and never to expect anyone else to have the same values.

These are my rules and mine alone. Everyone is free to have their own. Anything short of allowing everyone the same freedom I desire is to limit my own freedom to be me. This is one of my personal rules.

The purpose of being aware of your moral code, which you will have whether you are aware of it or not, is to choose your actions such that your mind can rest knowing you are a decent person in your own personal view of what is right.

Problems occur when we have morals that are not our own that we disagree with, yet follow. This is the source of back biting, vengeful actions, gossip and random anger which often come out of jealously that we want to do what the other person is doing but do not allow ourselves due to it infringing on our morals. Because these morals are not really ours, but pushed on us, our inner conflict is expressed outwardly.

Find out what your morals are. Decide if these make sense to you. Do you agree with them or not? You must be totally honest about what YOU feel is right or wrong or you will stay the same. Then live your life according to your own rules and you will find a lot of your emotional frustration with yourself and other people dissipates.

If you do not, you will have to shut your heart and distract your mind from remembering your actions and then you will just live in self-attacks, self-destructive actions, self-pity, misery, lack of success and most importantly, lack of true friends or love because friendship and love are the most valuable things we can have in our life and they are absolutely not worthy of an evil person who commits sins against their own highest morals.

When you discover your morals, yet find that you do not adhere to them, this is a clear indication that they are not your morals but ones you have acquired. This is the reason we find it hard to do what we believe in, because we don't really believe it to begin with, we are just taking someone else's word that this is good.

We are all unique individuals, and so we must each have our own set of unique morals. I know, some of you are thinking that I am condoning the thief who feels nothing is wrong with stealing. In a way that is correct, but I do not expect many thieves and evil people to be reading my work, and so I write for the type of person who seeks a higher level of being and consciousness. This type of person I assume will naturally have less destructive natural tendencies. As for the crook, we will just have to leave him to find his own path.

You can trust yourself, you will not be able to do horrible things without feeling guilty, if you have read this far, your essential nature is good and seeking to live without harming anyone which is why you are reading material for self-improvement. All you have to do is define your own morals and follow them.

This will eliminate all guilt and self-deprecation, and will build your self esteem such that you will become a happy, balanced, and positive person.

It is not through reforming the world, but rather through reforming oneself, that one makes any practical improvement.

Author's Bio: 

David Samuel is The Entrepreneur Monk, applying his understanding of the mind and emotions in business, relationships and personal growth.
Your mind makes you a success or failure, business skill is only a small part.
David resolved the riddle of why we do what is bad for us yet do not do what we know is beneficial and teaches that very effectively.
Read more about David EntrepreneurMonk.com
Have No Regrets, Look Forward