How many times have you been irritated by your boyfriend's or husband's behavior and you thought the best way to help the relationship problem situation and make the behavior go away was for you to somehow either ignore it or try to internalize it in such a way that it doesn't bother you anymore. After all, many experts will tell you that the only behavior you can truly change is your behavior. True, but what about the other side of the coin? If only you take ownership of his behavior, how or why should he change if he's not feeling any of the pain that you are? Any good sales book will tell you that nothing motivates change in any situation until there is enough pain in the current situation. People want to avoid pain.

So, the only good reason for him not changing his behavior is that you don't care about him or you don't care about staying in the relationship. But chances are you do care about him and the relationship and would love to see his behavior change. So what are some of the male behaviors that are causing women pain? We listed 5 and added in a some professional advice. Do you recognize any of these problems below?

In a stereotypical home, she may be doing the cleaning and cooking. She may be doing more in taking care of the children. Let her know that you appreciate the things that she does in your partnership. Let her know how these things are key for both of you just as the things you do are important. When you let her know that the things that she does are valued, you are letting her know that you value her as a partner and thus as a person.

You love being with her, she gets that. You want to spend a lot of time with her, that's natural. How many times a day are you calling or texting her? How much of your free time are you spending together? These are good measures of how you are relating with each but there is a dimension you may be forgetting. She (and you) also need to be leading your own lives. Giving her space to be herself will make the life you have together healthier. Encourage her to still go out with her friends and to pursue hobbies that you don't want to do with her. To create the space for this, do the same in your life as well.

Women do not like men who lack sentimentality and put down all things of that nature. Many women complain that this lack of caring ultimately "hurts their feelings" and shows a lack of respect. It is often times more about "the thought" than about the material gifts that are involved. A woman likes to be told and shown that she is cared for; particularly on special days.

This is something that some men will often say in response to a woman reacting in an emotional manner. This is both invalidating of the woman's feelings and overall sexist in nature.

Women hate it when a man waffles and can't make a decision or makes a decision after taking a consensus. Being wishy washy is a sign of weakness. Step it up once in awhile. Make decisions on your own whether they turn out right or wrong. Be confident and show leadership. Make a decision and stick with it.

So this article is for women and men. In other words, for women to take action and put the responsibility on the man to change his behavior. As a result, two things will happen; 1) He doesn't acknowledge you two have a relationship problem and does nothing or 2) He didn't understand how you felt about it (Behavior) and promises to get relationship help to fix it. In either scenario you are getting feedback that will give you some perspective about the relationship and the potential of staying in it or ending it.

Author's Bio: 

Clif Kay is the founder and principal of online relationship help site and e-Book author “50 Things Women Hate about Men; And What Men Can Do About It”.