The art of bending another person's situations or behaviour, creating a 'win-win' situation, can be learned. That requires extra effort and human science from you as a professional or manager! But it delivers lasting relationships in which everyone's talent comes into their own and you enjoy achieving your goals together.

The door to change opens inwards

If you experience something as difficult, your automatic tendency is to 'push' or to get rid of it (sometimes even with a white lie). This does not work to keep the working relationship effective and fun in the long term. What does work is taking a moment and ask yourself, "What does this say about me?" Your first look inside: 'Am I driven? Do I say blunt and directive? Am I lazy and do I want to shrug it off? Am I ahead of the troops? Am I saying things from a negative emotion? " And then ask yourself what you can learn from it. For example, you bring it in a quieter way or say it differently. Be prepared to laugh about yourself.

In addition, it is important to know your own pitfalls and limitations. Because of this self-reflection, you are often much more effective. You know when you should ask for help, where you fall short and what you can do well. Personal leadership is important to be able to work well with others. It is not 'I make a plan and I will roll it out and implement it', working is a matter of people.

Make contact instead of continuing to send and argue

Realize that everyone sees things differently. Investigate the perception of others. Ask questions about it. Be curious about the cause of the situation. Ignoring, rejecting or downplaying the reactions of others, stagnate every process. You can change people's attitudes by first making contact at the level of how you communicate together and what feelings play a role.

Interventions you can commit are:

Ask why someone reacts that way
Let someone name the pros and cons of the situation and ask questions
Asking why someone is resisting or adopting a certain attitude
Questions they are concerned about
Say what the situation does to you
Ask if they themselves have better ideas to achieve the goal outlined.

Also, be prepared to adjust your own behaviour if you learn something about it during such a conversation. By discussing and investigating a difficult situation, you come together with new and often better ideas. And then you are suddenly back in the flow.

Give space to everyone's need for freedom and autonomy

You are not the only one who wants to have the opportunity to act according to your own judgment. Everyone longs for satisfaction in his or her work, in order to shape beautiful results with enthusiasm and creativity. To do work that suits them. Every person acts on the basis of their own motivation, values ​​and motives. You can make a difficult situation fun again by feeding the need for interesting and challenging work. You do that by looking for the values ​​of the other. See how it is best for someone or a team to go through a process. If someone's value is 'success', give that person a challenging new goal and show what new opportunities arise for someone. If someone's value is 'order', make sure you communicate in a structured and clear way.

In addition, you can get the difficult and therefore often stressful situation back to 'flow' and enjoyment of work by connecting to shared values, on 'purpose': 'why do I get out of bed?' Clearly communicating the underlying purpose of the organization can quickly motivate people to achieve unexpectedly good results together. Such a goal is, for example, 'Making things better', 'go further', increasing quality of life, etc. A lot of positivity is created in which everyone performs efficiently, innovatively and enthusiastically.

Dare to differentiate

Not all professionals are equal in the way you can collaborate with them, so you have to be able and dare to differentiate. It is comparable to how parents treat their children, they notice that one child shows more initiative than the other. So make sure that you first investigate how the person is put together so that you can connect with her or his experience.

Have fun changing and 'learning'

If something has to change a difficult situation, then you have to get used to it. As long as you know what is expected of you and what you are good at, it feels comfortable. But if in a difficult situation, you suddenly no longer know where you stand and you doubt whether you can live up to expectations, then that brings tension and uncertainty. Allow yourself the opportunity to experiment with the new behaviour. Do this if you are with several people, for example, by specifying what 'we' should continue to do (retain), what 'we' should no longer do (reduce) and what 'we' need to learn (strengthen). Accept and share the 'misses' (like children on a journey of discovery do naturally) and the successes. That makes the situation a bit lighter,

Looking for a successful career? See here: Tips to Get the First Job

Author's Bio: 

I Shehbaz Malik am an Associate Engineer at reputed Govt Organization. Completed my studies in Mechanical Engineering discipline. I've been in this field from about the past 12 years.