Parenting is one of the most remarkable experiences one can have. No one prepares for it. The skills develop as you go along. This is because every child brings on a different experience but raising children requires the similar adopted methods. However, as parents, we sometimes make the mistakes. Here are three mistakes parents (sometimes) make:

Parents do not want their child/children to see them as a failure

Things may be tough career wise or family. As parents, we often put up a façade and behave as if everything is okay. We do not want our children to see us fail. We behave as if we always have everything together in place.
It may be that you lost your job, yet you lie to your child/children that you are taking time off work. It may be that you are facing financial challenges and you do not want them to see you fail. You think that letting your children no will mean failure.

Over Pamper Children
We sometimes over pamper our children. We do this to hide our insecurities or to keep them from knowing we are going through rough times. We think that showering them with gifts will make them see that we care for them. The child may not understand what you are going through but allowing the child to know also prepares that child for what he/she may face in the future.

Use of Negative Words
The use of negative words when children are not doing well or fail to do a chore the right way may be traumatic to a child “emotionally” and “mentally.” There is power in every word uttered. We sometimes bully them with words that further rip them apart on the inside. Children usually may not express their concern (especially if they have watched their parents fight or exchanged words). Telling a child that your partner is a failure does not only hurt the child but leaves a scar you may never know about.
It is sometimes good to let our children understand what we are going through. It will help prepare and allow them to toughen up for days ahead. Allow your children to learn about finances so that they can also prepare themselves for the future. The moment they realize how much you struggle to put food on the table, if told to them in honesty, the easier it becomes for them to appreciate your hard work of labor and love.

Giving gifts that are extravagant to children will only let your children believe that you have more than you are spending. Explaining to them financials (this does not have to be in-depth) is beneficiary not only to allow them appreciate you but to give them the reality of life as it is. Teaching children to live in reality will help shape them mentally when you allow them realize that comparison is harmful but living within your income will help them not to conform to worldly standards/expectations.

Let us take time to paint the real picture of what life is about to our children. Let us help them understand the struggles they will someday face. Let us help them realize that it is okay to fail (and make mistakes sometimes) so that when the time comes and they have to face tough situations, they will be able to push through knowing we (as parents) survived it and they can too. Withholding such vital information from them may only lead to messing up the child physically, mentally and spiritually.

We must let our children know that life is not perfect but they can make the best out of every opportunity and learn to turn every disappointment into a blessing.

(This article was originally published on

Author's Bio: 

Kemi Sogunle is a multi-award-winning author, international speaker, certified professional coach. Kemi supports singles (including divorcees) to find and love themselves after a broken relationship or divorce, identify their needs, understand what love is prior to starting a new relationship and find love again. She also works with married couples (with conflict resolution, intimacy and trust issues). She is also the Founder/CEO of the nonprofit organization (501c3), Love Not Hurt, an organization that promotes self-development, building healthier and stronger relationships while living with purpose.
She is dedicated to helping others transform their lives through self-development and growth, gaining knowledge and understanding of self-love and who they are before becoming involved in a relationship, find what works best and how to stay true to oneself while connecting with others to build solid relationships that will make their lives better not bitter. She believes that living truthfully is paramount to long-lasting relationships and healthy living.
Books Published
· Love, Sex, Lies and Reality
· Being Single: A State for the Fragile Heart
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