Three Things to Do BEFORE You Go on That Date

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the divorce rate in 2005 was 3.6 per 1,000 population and the marriage rate was 7.5 per 1,000 population, leading to the statements that half of all marriages end in divorce.

But the truth is that many of these divorcees want to get married again -- or at least have some type of committed relationship. One of those people may be you! However, there are a number of things to do before you accept (or offer) an invitation for a first date. I'm going to talk about three of the most important ones.

The first is to handle the money, honey. How do you feel about paying for the first date? Having him pay? "Going dutch?" If the relationship extends beyond the first date, how do you want to handle the money in the future? How did you handle it in the past? Do you want to do it the same way, or is there a new way?

I'd been through a lot of awkwardness in my marriage about money. O.K. It wasn't awkwardness -- it was downright bad. So when I began to date my future husband, it was a topic I brought up immediately. We agreed to take turns and it worked well.

According to Lorna Wendt, founder of the Equality in Marriage Institute, I followed the first rule -- talk, talk, talk -- of dating and money. And I suggest that you do it, too. The conversation will tell you a lot about you, your date and your relationship.

The second is to get a checkup. And that checkup should include testing for sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. I know, you've been good, but maybe your partners haven't. Be safe. Get checked out. And when the time comes to have a sexual relationship with your new man, ask him to get checked out, too. And make sure you see the results.

The third is to make sure YOU show up on this date. It's tough when you are trying to make an impression, but if you do things that are so "not you" (how often do you wear little spiky 4" heals, anyway?), you aren't being fair to you or your date. Yes, make the effort, but don't turn yourself into a pretzel trying to be something he says he wants -- or you only think you want.

Start with the truth and if the relationship can handle the truth, it could just be what you are waiting for!