Do You Get Emotional?

Do you talk too much, laugh too loudly, swear too quickly? Is it an emotion that is unsatisfactory to you?

This might be a tough question, but what do you think you are trying to accomplish when you do this?

Maybe you are trying to get attention, but you are just going about it in the wrong way. Or you are trying to get the emotion out of you, but you are just going about it in the wrong way. Or you are trying to be a *good guy or gal*, but you are just going about it in the wrong way. These are just some suggestions. I'm sure you can come up with the answer that's right for you.

When you have that figured out what you are trying to accomplish, come up with at least five possible expressions of this emotion that you can substitute for the one you're not happy with. Expressions that accomplish what you want, but are easy to do in the right way. What emotion do you want to have? What are five ways you can pick from to express it?

EXAMPLE:
Emotion: You are trying to get attentio
Expression you don't like: You talk too much. One of five expressions you can use: You could stand back until you have something really intelligent to say. That would get their attention.

It might be tough to come up with five to pick from, but try really hard. One important thing you already know is that the reaction you're having now isn't working for you. When you have five alte
atives for what you are trying to accomplish, continue.

For each alte
ative, run a *movie* in your mind where you see yourself feeling the emotion and expressing it in one of those ways.

After you've done that, decide which expression(s) will work the best for you. If none of them will accomplish what you want -- to get attention, to get your emotion out, or be the *good guy/gal*, or whatever, then think about it again.

What emotion do you want to have? How do you want to express it? Run the movie for each one and see which works for you.

Now, go with the alte
ative(s) you've decided on, and replay the movie. Now is the time to refine your behavior and check to make sure that it will lead to the outcome you want.

Now, step into the movie, feel the emotion you want to have, and just imagine as well as you can how it will be to express it in this way the next time you need it.

Now, think about a time that might be coming up where you will probably experience that emotion. Imagine being in that situation, feeling the emotion, and expressing it as you want.

Do this for other situations that might come up. Make minor adjustments in your behavior, so that you feel right.

If you find that there are times when your new form of expression isn't going to work, run through this again, with a different format. Ask yourself these two questions. What emotion do you want to have? How do you want to express it? Run the movie. Keep tweaking the movie until it comes out exactly as you like.

Now, you are going to be prepared for the situation, your response/emotion will be appropriate.

I hope this helps in your growth. Just keep remembering: You're never as bad as you think you are, and you can be better than you think you are.

Just keep going. Life is to be lived, not feared. Also, if you keep thinking the way you are already thinking, you'll stay the way you are. So if you don't want that, start visualizing new and different things happening in your life -- then watch for them to actually happen. nn~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 2002, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide nnn