Tips For A Healthy Parent and Children Relationship
Written by Virginia Pinto
Being a mother is the greatest responsibility a woman could have in life, because the future success of children depends largely on the love and security that their parents will show to them. Children are like sponges, absorbing everything, both good and bad. Many parents can not imagine all that is "transmitted" to the children by them; they learn much more by what they see and intuit, than by what they are told.
A mother, for example, can constantly tell the child that it is bad to shout and that they have to respect adults, but if the mother is always shouting and disrespecting her children, her spouse, or her parents; her children will receive a double "source" of information that confuses them. Also the fears and insecurities that a mother may have usually are relayed to their children. Like everything in life, the "sources" of information and learning can be positive or negative, constructive or destructive, is a matter of being aware of the effects and consequences of our actions.
Our children arrive without an instruction manual, but that's the beautiful part of it, because through them we learn a lot along the way. Being a mother is and has been the biggest responsibility I've had in my life, but also the most encouraging, rewarding and beautiful. What you "repeatedly" teach them since they’re little ones, is what they will reflect as adults. If one is lovely with them most probably they will be affectionate, if one is moody with them most probably they will be bitter, if one is fearful most probably they will grow insecure, if one is happy most probably they will be successful.
Tips for a good relationship Mother and Children:
- The first and most important tip is to always show unconditional love towards them: that no matter what happens, if we are mad or not with them, we will always love them. This love must include mutual respect and consideration of all parties. As a mother and / or father we must teach them what is respect and consideration about and be the number one example of what this means. We would live in a better world if we were all raised in a lovely home!
- Let them grow, let them be, let them discover their self: many times we try to force them to be what we dream of them as an "ideal child." This is a mistake because we are all different, have different tastes, talents, passions, dreams, abilities. Who likes to be forced to do something you do not want to do? Nothing should be forced because nothing positive will come out, on the contrary, this leads to frustration of being. The best we can do is to show our children the different options they may have according to their skills.
- Maintain good communication with your children: this involves teaching them to listen and be heard. Many times for being too busy we do not listen to them carefully, and this will hurt their self-esteem because they realize and think they are not important or are not taken into account. Communication should be respectful, without criticizing or comparing them with others, otherwise it will weaken more and more each day. If you do not have a good communication with your children at home, they will end up looking for it on the streets, and out there, there is no guarantee that they will fall in good hands.
- Always show them the positive side of things or life situations: life is not always a fairy tale, there are good and bad times, but in bad times there is always something good to learn. This is critical to develop a positive view towards life, so that in the future they can walk out from difficulties successfully and happy, without staying plugged into negativism.
- Teach them to accept that we are human and we make mistakes, which does not mean that we are losers or failures, but rather it is part of learning to be better persons.
- Do not criticize: we must teach them that nothing and nobody is perfect, and for this reason we should not judge others. Teach them that there are different points of views and different ways of being, without this meaning that one is more or less than others. When they have problems with someone, it’s good to recognize who did wrong, explain the possible causes and possible consequences, but also teach them that maybe the person did "not knew how to do better."
- We should not overprotective them: that will breed dependent children of parents and the day that we are not in their lives, they will suffer much emotional and / or professionally. We must teach them the value of things and healthy relationships. They must be taught to defend themselves and think for themselves. Do not give them all the answers so easily, teach them to think, to analyze, to reflect, to discover themselves and fight for what they want, and, of course, to be loving and respectful of others.
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About the Author
Z U here” is a unique online blog and community network with access to professional assistance; committed to help understand relationship’s complexities and encourage each partner’s personal growth.
“We are committed to the mission of helping couples achieve healthy relationships. To be happy with others, we must first be happy with ourselves.”
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