Letting go of someone you still very much love is one of the most difficult things to do in the world. But unfortunately, circumstances take such a shape that it becomes necessary at times.

However, I somehow have never been good at doing such difficult things in this world. When it comes to ending a relationship or stop loving, it is incredibly, a next to impossible task for me.

So what do I do now, was the question before me. While my thinking process was completely paralyzed and there was nothing but darkness before my eyes, I saw a ray of light! I seemed to have got the answer from what the Spiritual Master, Pujya Deepakbhai, said. It clicked to me that the best thing to do in order to get over a long-term relationship, in which you still very much love the person is: Take your love to a higher level!!
Sounds absurd? Don’t worry; read on, and it will soon clear all your doubts.

Take Your Love To A Higher Level
To develop love of a higher level, Pujya Deepakbhai advises to do the following:
1.Minimize your expectations.
2.Do not see faults of the person you love. Do not have any negativity for that person.
3.Do not hurt the other person.
4.Do not keep any conditions.
5.If any untoward behaviour happens by the other person, then I must understand that ‘this is a result of my past karma; I have to see the person as a Pure Soul only and always have immense love for his / her Pure Soul.’
6.Never talk any negative of the person whom you love, to anybody else. Say only positive.

Your love will elevate to a higher level, then!
He finally added a very subtle point to it, “Remove even this expectation of yours that ‘I want to elevate my love.’ There is love, just let it be.”

This made me feel completely light; as if my burden was totally offloaded and scattered in thin air.
Although not fully, but I was beginning to understand what Pujya Deepakbhai was trying to convey. It urged me to understand what he meant fully and thoroughly though; so that I could do whatever it takes, correctly and perfectly. Because, here was a solution where I could face the present circumstances, without having to forsake my love for the person. How? Let’s see...

All along, we have understood things based on what we’ve been taught or what we’ve gauged from our own experiences. But listening to Pujya Deepakbhai’s discourses, it gave me a chance to review these concepts, in the light of the right understanding, based on sound principles of spirituality.

1.I realized what I regarded as love is really called attachment. And attachment by its very nature is associated with expectations. I always thought I had no expectations. But, after understanding this principle of attachment, on introspection, I could see a long list of demands I had from my partner. Better late than never! So, I let go all my past expectations, after which I felt really nice.

2.Next, I realized that attachment is a seed from which so many negative emotions of hatred, anger, jealousy, dejection, etc. can arise. When our expectation cannot be fulfilled by the person for whom we have deep attachment, we experience negative emotions, and also end up seeing the fault of that person, even when we know the person’s innocent. On introspection, I could see so many instances, where for no good reason, negativity had got generated in my mind. Realizing my mistakes, I daily sat before God for about an hour at least, and confessed each of my mistake before Him. I apologized with a true heart, and vowed to God every time that, “Never ever do I want to repeat these mistakes. So, please give me strength to that effect.”

3.No matter how positive our intentions may be; due to over-attachment, both or one of the two will inevitably end up getting hurt. We feel we intensely care for each other, which is a valid argument, no doubt. But attachment also makes us possessive and attachment creates in us a feeling of insecurity, which worsens the matter, because when the person we love gets hurt, it hurts us only the most. This realization culminated into a firm determination in the witness of God “May my partner never be hurt again by my deeds of action, speech or even in thoughts”

4.These lessons helped me get over the pain of all the bruises and wounds that I was experiencing within, and it greatly helped me get over the guilt too of all the bruises and wounds that I had caused to the other person in the relationship. It made me resolve that henceforth, in any event, I will not keep any conditions before my partner. And as Pujya Deepakbhai advised, if any untoward behaviour happens by my partner, I will understand that ‘this is a result of my past karma only’. I will see my partner as a Pure Soul and always have immense love for the Pure Soul.

How do I see the Pure Soul and have love for the Pure Soul?
This is the master key! When people, with a wish in their heart, that, “I want to obtain Self-Realization”, come to Pujya Deepakbhai, He graces them with the knowledge of the Self, after which the awareness arises that really, “I am a Pure Soul”. Just as “I am a Pure Soul”, we also understand that the other person is a Pure Soul too. The Soul is our real identity, this is what we really are!
When you love the Soul, you are able to love the person unconditionally and constantly. This love is not dependant then on any relationship created by society or any external circumstances; this love gives rise to the real relationship that is based on purity and real love. This love is called Real love as it is always devoid of any expectations, devoid of any negative reactions, frustrations, irritations or abhorrence, is devoid of any hurt or conditions. It has no selfish motive or vested interest of its own.

You can see this love in the eyes of Pujya Deepakbhai and in the entire being of His, and therefore whoever sees Him even once, gets the instant feeling of bliss within. This is the bliss of the Soul, the Pure Soul which is an abode of real love, the love that knows only to give, give and only give!!!

Please visit https://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/relationship/true-love-in-...

Author's Bio: 

Ambalal M. Patel was a civil contractor by profession. In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and the Lord that manifest within him became known as Dada Bhagwan. A Gnani Purush is One who has realized the Self and is able help others do the same. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang (spiritual discourse) and impart the knowledge of the Self, as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interactions to everyone who came to meet him. This spiritual science, known as Akram Vignan, is the step-less path to Self-realization.