***Tips To Manage Career Setback

No matter how successful and seasoned you are, you may still experience setbacks and disappointments.

Setbacks come in many shapes and sizes for each of us. Sometimes they are small, while other times they’re huge — or perhaps they just feel that way.

Read this sentence out loud several times:

No one is immune from experiencing career setbacks, regrets and disappointments, and from making mistakes both big and small.

Here are five situations that may sound familiar to you, along with possible solutions and tips to empower you.

1. Inaction:  “I delayed taking action on something and I missed out on a great opportunity. I tend to be a thinker and weigh all of my options, but I should have trusted my instincts.”

Discussion and Solution:  Just because you missed an opportunity, it does not mean you used the wrong approach. Inaction usually occurs because the risk is too high or the deadline is too tight for you to investigate. Perhaps the opportunity doesn’t fit your mission.

If these descriptions sound like your situation, you were probably smart in not acting. On the other hand, you may have missed out on an opportunity because you avoid risk out of fear of making a wrong decision.

Next time you face an opportunity, ask for more time. Then make a list of information you need or questions you need to ask. Next, make a two-column chart with reasonable doubts on one side, and your worst fears on the other. Discuss your fears and misgivings with someone with business savvy.

And remember, it is important to not dwell on the missed opportunity. It may hold you back the next time.

2. Hastiness:  “I should not have jumped so quickly, but I was so excited about working with Mr. Big Deal. I now realize my involvement was not good after all. It’s cost me time and money! How could I have been so gullible? I should have known better. I often say “Yes” to things I shouldn’t.”

Discussion and Solution:  We have all been seduced and flattered by someone or something that seems too good to be true. At the time, though, you felt recognized and valued. How could you pass that up? Similarly, many of us have agreed to be part of a project — and regretted it later. Perhaps you felt you couldn’t say “No” because you were committing to something to help a relative or friend.

The next time you’re asked to give your time, energy — and perhaps money, first take a step back and ask yourself these questions:  Is this too good to be true? What will be asked of me? Do I really have the time? Do I really need to be flattered, needed and respected that much? Can I say “No,” even if I feel uncomfortable — or selfish?

Stay focused on your career goals, values and projects. No one will look out for you better than you.

3. Rejection:  “I can’t believe I didn’t win that prize or get that contract or be invited into this exclusive group. I’m better than Lucky Lucy.”

Discussion and Solution:  There’s no question that rejection hurts — literally. Emotional hurt and physical pain share similar neural connections in the brain. Do not beat yourself up or wallow in negative thoughts if you’ve been overlooked. Stop thinking that this chance is the only big one you’ll ever get. And maybe it is — some opportunities may not knock twice. But so what? Are you really going to devalue your effort and accomplishment because of one Big Time Rejection? There are always opportunities — including ones you create.

We all want to be valued, but make sure you know how to value yourself. When it comes to coping with rejection, it helps to get proactive. So make a list of what you’ve overcome in your life. For example, did you have parents who were abusive, poor or sickly? Did you spend years in a bad marriage where you accepted emotional crumbs? Or were you ill?

Next, make a list of all of the negative thoughts about yourself that crop up during tough times. There’s no point in ignoring them. Next to each negative thought, write your rebuttal. You might say, “So I had rotten parents and I was a late bloomer. Better to be late than never bloom. And look how far and well I’ve come. That took inner strength. My siblings never made it out.”

Don’t shoulder all of the responsibility for not having been selected. Remind yourself there is a good chance these decision-makers had personal agendas and perhaps they aren’t as good as their image. There are almost always hidden reasons for rejection that have nothing to do with you.

4. Bad Personal Timing:  “I’m just not my best self now, so I am unable to focus, prioritize or give it my all.”

Discussion and Solution:  Even very emotionally healthy, happy and smart people have rough patches on occasion. Life happens to everyone at some point. Yes, it’s horrible timing that you had some bad things crop up just when you were hitting your stride.

Instead of being angry, work on accepting the truism that life is not fair. There is also no reason to blame yourself for something beyond your control. Adjust your timeline for your goals. You may also be surprised that after you have come through these trying times that you’ve actually changed your goals or adjusted their importance. Read your lists again — what you have overcome, your good qualities and your accomplishments.

5. Failure:  “I blew it.”

Discussion and Solution:  Yes, you sure did. You didn’t make a good impression. Your plan didn’t work. Well, who hasn’t messed up?

Laugh, get a new perspective. It’s important to learn from what went wrong. Schedule a three- to five-minute pity party and then activate your inner value by reading your list and rebuttals again. You do nothave to be perfect to be loved, appreciated and competent, so it’s time to give up that idea! Work on tweaking your intuition. Get better at reading people by studying some books by experts.

But sometimes, maybe you didn’t really fail. So ask yourself if you really failed, or is it only yourperception? If there were several things you wanted to accomplish for something to be a success, and you fell short on one, does missing that one thing wipe out the success of accomplishing all of the others? At times it can be all or nothing, but many times it isn’t.

Here are a few more things to consider that may help you in all of these situations.

The adage about us being our own worst critic is usually true, so try not to be so hard on yourself. Hold yourself up to realistic expectations. Strive for more objectivity, and try to consider your results from different eyes.

Knowing more about something usually gives us more confidence. Take the time to learn more, whether on your own or with the help of others.

I hope these five situations helped you gain some perspective, and get you back on track for managing your career setback!