Recovery author and guru, John Bradshaw once talked about being a "human being" instead of a "human doing." While New Age thoughts talk about the illusions of being a human.  Never happy we're we are in life.  Always having to get "there" and when it finally becomes our "here" we realize that being "there" isn't much better than our old "here."

It is really hard when someone can’t accept that being “here” is probably the best they will ever have. I say “probably” because everyone should always try and improve their lot in life. I get frustrated when people just shout about getting “over there” just because they believe it is what others want to hear. They can’t seem to understand that where they are at is OK and in fact many would be happy with what they have.

They can’t seem to grasp that the way they talk can push people away. One young man that I know (in his 30s) fell into a pretty nice inheritance. Now this guy did nothing to earn his wealth except for having grandparents that worked and worked some more.

The whole story is hard to believe and if I haven’t witnessed it myself I would just shake my head and think that it is a bad fictional story. The story? He owns a home and a lot of land. So much land that he leases it out to farmers. Everything is his (and a brother) free and clear.

When something needs to be done around the house or the land, he gets a relative to do the work. Does he pay them for their time and talent? To be honest, I don’t know, but I doubt it. You see, this kid makes a life out of being a victim.

He speaks how hard it is to get a job… yet he doesn’t need a job. Then when a chance of employment appears, he finds a reason not to get to the interview. His latest reason is a disease, which he created. He calls it exertion/exhaustion. That being so excited from doing things, he can’t sleep, so he gets exhausted. He figures he may not have the right chemical composition to work a normal job.

I bite my tongue because we all have this “disease.” We work and come home exhausted. If we can’t sleep at nights, that’s tough… we still go to work… and pray that the next chance we get we sleep like a baby. Many people don’t have the luxury of missing work because we are tired.

This guy will talk about earning money and how he will live quite comfortably when he gets a job. Yet, he hasn’t worked his whole adult life. He relies on money from the government and from inheritance. Yes, with a home and land he also gets government assistance. For a guy who hasn’t had a job, he makes more money than I do working full-time.

I’m OK with that. What I’m not OK with is an attitude about “earning” money. None of it is earned. His grandparents earned it. They worked and lived a frugal lifestyle. They worked through exertion/exhaustion to make a life for their children and grandchildren.

Yet, this guy believes it is better “over there”, when in reality his “here” is what most people would dream of having. Sadly, I doubt he will ever be grateful for being “here.” He will only understand it when his present “here” becomes “there” and his new “here” is being broke.

I can see that he will continue to push people away and eventually be broke. He will go through an inheritance, sell properties, be broke again and then realize that being “there” was OK.

No one can be happy either “here” or “there” without an attitude of gratitude. Whatever we have in life can be taken a lot easier and quicker than it took to earn. Be grateful and thank your Higher Power everyday for the gifts you have.

Author's Bio: 

Dave Harm is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for over 20 years. He is an NLP Master Practitioner, Hypnotist, and Life Coach. He is the author of three books and the creator of two musical CD's.

He shares his experience and journey on his website