To find the greatness within

Opening the heart to the greatness withinnnIntroductionnnEveryone is born a Master coming into the world full of unconditional love, a perfect soul of freedom and compassion. nBut as we grow into social beings we find the world and the people in it begin to shape our thoughts and actions. nWe learn how to get our needs met and how to meet the needs of others.nWe learn to make assumptions and this leads to us having expectations of the world around us. This workshop is designed to make you aware of how your experiences have shaped the person you are. nIt is not designed to give you answers but structured to encourage you to find your own.nBecoming a Master is about pushing yourself to think and feel beyond the boundaries of the world as you have come to know it. It is about getting back to the person you were born to be and the discovering the greatness that lies within all of us. To touch the Stars we must feel the Earth beneath our feetnnPeople are like electrical wires being charged by the energy in the environment and as any good electrician will tell you if you overload a system with too much energy it will eventually explode. That is why there is a wire specifically used to ground electrical units. And we as humans are no different we need to find a way of grounding ourselves so excess energy can be released. Symptoms of being ungroundednn• Mind racing with a million thoughtsn• Panic attacksn• Indecisionn• The need to hurryn• Increased nervousness.n• Extremes in emotions These are signs our body is starting to overload and we need to take time to ground ourselves. Ways to groundnn• Walk in the forestn• Walk on the beachn• Meditaten• Garden n• Read a bookn• Work out at the gymnnThere are many ways to ground but for today we are going to start of with a few simple exercises: Take a deep breath in through your nose hold it for a count of four then exhale.nDo this four timesnnPlant your feet firmly on the floor try not to cross your arms or legs. Imagine a connection with the ground beneath your feet. Close your eyes breath. If you want you can imagine white light filling your body making it lighter or you may simply want to sit and focus on your breathing or just sit and be still safe in the knowledge all is well in your world. Open your eyes breath gently in and out. Exercises: List two times you have felt ungrounded and what caused you to feel that way.n1. Examplen2. ExamplennWrite down one example of how you could ground yourself if that situation ever arose again.n1. ExamplennWrite down one way you can nurture your:n1. Physical Body; Example take up yogan2. Spiritual Body; Example meditaten3. Emotional Body; Example forgive someonennThings to remembernnMasters learn to listen to their bodies and act accordingly; they know it is neither selfish or indulgent to take care of their own well being. Masters find the tools they need to nurture not only their physical wellbeing but their emotional and spiritual well being. Things to pondernnGrounding affirmation: If in doubt hug a treennAssumptions As we grow into adults we learn how to make assumptions about all sorts of things.nWe make assumptions about people based on how they speak, behave and where they live. nWe make assumptions based on past experiences, what other people tell us, what we read in the media etc. nAssumptions help keep us safe they help us organize our world so we can make sense of everything in it. But they can be harmful to the relationships we have yet to build and those that already exist. When you are in a relationship whether it be friendship, work or intimate the only way of being certain about who the other person is and what they are thinking or feeling is to ask outright.nHow many people here have walked into a room and made the assumption “Oh they are talking about me”, even though you could not hear the conversation. How many people have gotten angry at a boyfriend/girlfriend for laughing at loud because you assumed they were laughing at you? Assumptions sometimes give us a back door so we do not have to confront our fears. It is easier to assume we are right than ask and be proven wrong or worst still to ask and have our fears realized. But if we look for the truth in all situations it actually frees us to make wiser choices in regards to our actions. Why? Because the truth narrows our vision so we focus on what is rather than what might be, what could be or what may be. In the last scenario if you asked your boyfriend/girlfriend why they were laughing aloud they may have said a couple of things. Perhaps it was not you at all they were laughing at but something that came to their mind or perhaps they were laughing at the situation not you or perhaps they were laughing at you. Either way now you have concrete information on which to base your choice of action and bring about a desired outcome. But if you had not asked you may have stayed mad and dumped them for being insensitive or they may have had second thoughts about having a relationship with someone who gets angry for no reason. Exe:rcisennConsider these situations: nYour partner comes home mumbles a hello and then is very distance for the rest of the night. Do you :nA) make the assumption you did something wrong nB) make the assumption they are just being a blank nC) make the assumption they had a bad day at work and keep out of their waynD) ask what is wrong and work out a plan so both of you are getting your needs met. n[ see appendages 1 & 2 on conflict resolution and reflective listening] You discover your brother has stolen your money but find it embarrassing to share with anyone. When your best friend asks what is wrong do you:nA) Let them assume they did something wrongnB) Let them assume you are being a blanknC) Let them assume you had a bad day at work so they will leave you alonenD) Tell them what is wrong and accept their support or tell them something has happened but you are not ready to share the details yet nnnSome of the dangers of making assumptionsnnWhen the Magician saws a woman in half and then spins the box away so we see it with our own eyes he is operating on the premise we will make an assumption that is what indeed happened. This is what an assumption is something accepted as truth without proof. There are magicians all around us, these are people who weave a web of lies knowing it is unlikely you will dig deeper to find the truth. They know if they can make their lies believable enough you will make the assumption they are speaking the truth. Pedophiles are magicians they use the internet to create an illusion saying false and misleading things about who they are and their motives. When you meet a Magician this thought might cross your mind ‘this sounds too good to be true’ listen to this voice and proceed with cautionnMagicians hate the truth because it exposes their secrets and the more you press a magician for the truth the more he/she will try and lead you away from it.nMaybe with guilt ‘don’t you trust me’nMaybe with deflection ‘I will tell you later’nMaybe with threats ‘ if you keep asking me I will leave’ ExercisennYou meet someone online and they tell you they feel like they have known you forever. After a few weeks you exchange messenger address’s and a relationship develops. n1. How would you know if this person was a magician?n2. What steps could you take to make sure they were telling the truth Things to remember: Masters know their fears cannot survive in the light of the truth Masters speak their truth quietly and without judgement and allow others to do the samennMasters are not afraid of the truth for through it they will learn and grownnThings to ponder: An assumption is not the same thing as gut instinct or intuition or a gut reaction. These are what some people call angel whispers.nYou make assumptions based on prior knowledge, experiences and beliefs. A gut feeling comes from no where and you do not know why but something is telling you this is not the truth or this is not safe. Listen to this feeling it is your soul talking, take a step back and away until you know the facts. ExpectationsnnWhere an assumption is something we assume to be true an expectation is when we assume something will come true. For example:nA management position has become available where at your workplace. You have worked hard and long hours the boss seems to like you and everyone else tells you the job is yours. Pretty soon you start to believe they must be right and start planning what to do with the pay rise you will receive. You have formed an expectation ‘I will get the job’. Your birthday is coming up and you have been giving your partner hints for weeks you want a friendship ring / season football tickets. You are already telling people how great it will be to get the above items. You have formed an expectation “ I will get a ring / season football ticketsnnBut what would happen if you went into work one day and saw Jack/Jill sitting in the Managers chair that was meant to be yours or opened up your gift to discover a tacky pair of boxer shorts with love hearts all over them / a sweater that looked like something your grandmother would wear? Exercises: 1. Write down how you would feel if these things really did happen. Would you be angry, sad, frustrated or defeated? 2. Write down what you might think about the person who did not deliver what you thought was headed your way. Would you be resentful towards them, angry or would you try and get back at them? 3. What steps to increase the chances of your expectations being met? 4. What positive steps can be taken if and when your expectations are not met?nnnThere are going to be times when even careful planning and honest and clear communication are not going to be enough to stop people and situations falling short of your expectations. There will be times when you will have to accept things as they are. A Buddhist may say this is the nature of things nothing is permanent. A Christian may say God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference. A Spiritualist may say these are the lessons the universe is providing so you can learn and grownnAn Atheist may say it sucks but you only have one life and you have to keep moving through it. Whatever stream of thought you go with it is true life at times will not meet your expectations and there will also be times when you will not meet the expectations of others. And how you cope with these moments occur will determine the way your world is shaped. Things to remember: A Master knows there are many rivers leading to the one ocean. He/she knows there are many pathways that can take them to their destination. Masters are able to go with the flow adjusting their steps as situations change. A Master does not allow the expectations of others to define who she/he is. A Master gets his/hers needs met by engaging in clear and honest communication. Things to ponder: When we have an expectation we are projecting into the future but given the future is created in the present moment would it not be more productive to concentrate on the events that are unfolding in the now? Life experiencesnnWhat we read, what we hear, what we see, what we are told and what we feel; these things form our knowledge base and this foundation of knowledge is what we draw on when we make assumptions and create expectations. Sometimes new experiences will cause our minds to rearrange the knowledge and throw out things no longer deemed to be true or helpful. Sometimes new experiences will be thrown out because our minds are not willing or able to accept the old experience is no longer relevant or of use. Exercise: If we put our hand on a hot stove and it turns red and starts to burn we make the assumption that putting your hand on a hot stove will hurt. Because of this experience we expect to feel hurt every time we put our hand on a hot stove. If you saw someone put a hand on a hot stove and then yell in pain you would also draw the conclusion putting your hand on a hot stove will hurt. When your mother tells you not to touch the hot stove or you will get burnt you store this information in your brain. It is taken as fact as it has come from a source you trust and you have no reason to believe your Mother would lie. Write down three examples of an expectation you now have which is based on; 1. A previous experiencenExample: I rode a horse it bucked me off. I will not get on a horse again because I have an expectation the same thing will happen againnn2. Someone else’s experiencenExample: My friend took crystal meth and became an addict. I won’t try it because I know I will end up homeless on the streets. 3. Something you read or were toldnExample: I read somewhere eating lots of protein builds up muscles. I expect to have large bisceps in a month if I keep eating read meat. We need a knowledge base to draw on becausen• It this enables us to make assumptions about situations and people unfamiliar to us and at times keeps us from walking into dangern• It helps us make sense of our world and this in turn creates a feeling of safetyn• It also gives us answers as to what to expect if we proceed with a certain course of action or if we engage in a certain way with othersnnBut not all experiences we have nurture our emotional, spiritual and physical well being. nNot everything we hear or see or are told represents an objective truth. Exercise: Consider these scenarios: A father calls his son a sissy and says real men do not cry. A young girl is raped by her uncle. A teenager is told by his teachers he is stupid and will never amount to anything. A gay boy is told by his mother’s priest he will rot in hell for his sins. Write down what effect these experiences may have had on the people involved in terms of 1. The things they assumed were true about themselvesnExample: The girl who was raped might assume she was unlovablenn2. The things they assumed were true about other people nExample: The boy who was called a sissy might think all men who cried were weaknn3. The expectations they had in regards to their future, themselves and othersnExample: The teenager who was stupid might expect to never get a job more meaningful than pumping gas. 4. What might have been some possible outcomes nExample: The gay boy might commit suicide unable to reconcile his homosexuality with his religious beliefsnnOur experiences shape how we view the world as a whole. n nDo you view the world as;nA) A safe place where all your needs will be met nB) A place where no matter how hard you try unless you win lotto life will sucknC) A place where people treat you with respect, love and compassionnD) A place where people lie so it’s better to look after number one What experiences might have contributed to this outlook on life? Things to remembernnA Master knows he/she is born with the right to abundance in all its formsnnA Master learns from experiences but is not chained to them preferring to allow each new experience to be its own unique moment. Things to pondernnIs it possible to create a different world view by participating in new experiences and being open to new ways of thinking? Gathering the tools needed to build the world you wantnnThere are no right way of doing things when it comes to living the life we were born into. nTHERE ARE ONLY DIFFERENT WAYS.nThere are no ultimate truths or answers when it comes to living the life we were born into.nTHERE ARE ONLY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES COMING FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE. You do not know my answers I do not know yours.nI cannot tell you which road to take you cannot tell me which road to take.nI cannot tell you who you are you cannot tell me who I am. I do know that in order to build something you will need tools, which ones that is for you to discover and explore. nI do know that you might have to try a few things before you find what works for you.nWhat I can do is give you some tools to explore.nI can share my knowledge from which you can take what is relevant to you and discard the rest or discard all of it if you see fit. nI do not stand in judgement of any pathway religion faith or ideology. nIt matters not where you find the tools to bring out the greatness within you it only matters that you do find them. Standing in the truth of who you are nn‘Bob looks in the mirror and sees a failure, a misfit and person with no future. He has a secret he is gay but he can’t tell anyone because they would not understand.nHe goes to work at the video store everyday and sits at the back rewinding the tapes. He fantasizes about accepting an award for best script at the Oscars in fact he has written a play but it is hidden away shared with no one. Bob’s father takes him fishing hoping to toughen him up, his mother sets him up on blind dates hoping to get him married, his brother tells everyone Bob is adopted. Bob expects he will live out his life alone and be still working at the video store when he is ninety at which time he will die and burn in hell for his sins. Bob is not standing in the truth of ‘who’ he is. Exercise: What assumptions do you think Bob is making about who he is and what he is capable of?nExample: Bob may think being gay means being less of a human beingn Bob may believe he is not worthy of good things coming his waynnnAre the expectations Bob has of his future realistic and could they be tied into the expectations his family has for him? Is he being honest about his feelings and needs? Is he using his secrets as shadows to hide behind and what might happen if he was truthful? What do you think standing in the truth of ‘who’ you are would look like for Bob? Make a list of five steps Bob could have taken to change his world and then list what a consequence of taking that step may have been? Example: nStep: coming out as gay to his familynConsequence: being kicked out of the family homennAs you can see standing in the truth of ‘who’ you are requires great courage but there are certain things you can do to bring the greatness within out so it becomes the light that leads you to the end of the tunnel. No man is an islandnnIt is a misconception asking for help is a sign of weakness in fact the opposite is true. Asking for help is a sign of someone willing to walk in truth in order to create the life they want. Every person on the planet is at some stage in their life going to need support and encouragement from an outside source. Exercise: Let’s go back to Bob scenario.nMake a list of places, people or things Bob may have sort out to help him firstly to have the courage to stand in his truth and secondly supported him through all the tough times which may have followed. Mentors: Find a big sister or brother organization in your town or ask some one you admire and respect to be your mentor. Groups & Clubs: Go online or look in the yellow pages of the phone book or simply ask around to find out what groups are operating in your area. Join a group with minded people in it or simply try something new. Make a commitment to go 2 or 3 times and give it a chance. Churches & Spiritual organizations: Don’t discount your local church as a source of support. There are churches that have youth groups and counseling services run by caring compassionate people whose only agenda is to help you. nA word of caution here; there are some spiritual groups which could be considered cults and they prey on people who are sad and lonely. Watch out for those selling “the answers” or the “ultimate truth”. For further information see ‘sites to visit’ at the end of this section. Online Communities: While online communities do provide a means to talk to those in similar situations and receive emotional support it is important you do not isolate yourself with just a computer as company. There is a need to have support not only from the cyber world but in the real world as well. Computer hugs aren’t nearly as comforting as two arms around you. Friends & Family: Sometimes you have to take a chance on people. Being vulnerable and open won’t scare true friends away it will bring them closer. nNot sharing the truth of who you are does not respect the people around you it says “ I do not trust you” and real relationships of value and depth do not grow from secrets. Exercise: Make your own list of people and places you could go to for support. Keep in a safe place and revise it every now and then.n nThings to remember A Master knows a burden carried alone is far heavier than a burden shared. A Master asks for help when needed as only fools are slaves to the voice of ego disguised as pride. When you stand in the truth of who you are, you remember the Master you were born to be. Things to pondernIf babies are deprived of touch for a long time after their birth their growth will be stunted. We all have a basic human need for human contact. Collecting tools for your toolbox The following are common tools used to change the inner world. Whether or not you put them in your toolbox is up to you. Affirmations: An affirmation is a statement asserting the truth of something. nFor example “ I know who I am and have no need to compare myself to others”. This is the truth I choose to stand in.nThere are many reasons people make a list of affirmations and repeat them over and over again. A) Sometimes it is to erase the voices of the past. nI might be some one who is always being compared to my siblings and instead of forming my own identity I followed in their footsteps. The above affirmation I would say to myself in times when I start a new path and doubts begin to arise. What this does is takes me to the greatness within and out of my head. B) Sometimes it is to get through tough times.nChristians might repeat ‘ God is my savior and will not fail me’ or ‘this too shall pass’. What this does is strengthen their faith and then they have a sense of well being. C) Sometimes it is simply to enhance a sense of joy within.nSpiritualists may wake up every morning with the affirmation ‘all is well in my world’ to them this puts positive energy into the day and increases the chances it will indeed be a wonderful day by making that their mindset. Exercise: Create a set of affirmations to apply to your daily life. 1. Who am I? nExample Affirmation: I am a child of the world deserving of love” 2. What do I want my world to be or look like?nExample: I flow through life knowing all my needs will be met. 3. What will my relationships be like?nExample: I am honest and clear in all communications. Write down one negative assumption you have about your self and change it into a positive affirmation.nExample: I know I am not that beautifulnAffirmation: My beauty shines from within MeditationnnThere are a lot of misconceptions in regards to meditation the main one being it is a new age practice where people go into another dimension. Meditation can be as Adam Sandlar learnt in the movie “Happy Gilmour” simply a case of teaching yourself to go off to your happy place. Doing something calming and relaxing can be a form of meditation getting lost in a good book, painting, cooking or putting on some soft music closing your eyes and drifting to the sounds. For some praying can be a form of mediation going within to seek guidance from a higher power. Chanting for other religions becomes a tool for meditation. It is what works for you that matters what takes you to that place of peace where all is well in your world. There are no rules but I will give a couple of guidelines that may be helpful.n• Concentrating on breathing can help focus you inward. Being aware of each breath as it enters and leaves your body. n• Don’t get pre-occupied with emptying your head of thoughts the more you focus on your thoughts the more will come just let them come and go like watching the clouds above you.n• Try to ground before you start or use the meditation itself as a grounding agent. n• Try to take a comfortable posture n• Don’t force it if it doesn’t seem to be working try something different. There is a meditation which uses affirmations as part of it’s process and it is this meditation I will show you today. It is being used as an example not as an endorsement of any ideological strand of thought. Exercise: This is the loving kindness meditation. Take a comfortable position, focus on your chest and breath in and out from that area. You may close your eyes or choose to leave them open. Breath in and out several times each time letting go of any negative feelings you have towards yourself. Then say to yourself out loud or just in your headnnMay I be safe and protectednMay I be free of sufferingnMay I be healthy and strongnMay I be able to live in this world happily, peacefully and with joynnNext think about someone who makes you feel really good about yourself repeat the affirmations for them May you be safe and protected nMay you be free from sufferingnMay you be healthy and strong nMay you be able to live in this world happily, peacefully and with joynnThen move on to someone you have difficulty with who you do not feel loving kindness for and say To the best of my ability I wish you to be safe and protectednTo the best of my ability I wish you free from sufferingnTo the best of my ability I wish you health and strengthnTo the best of my ability I wish you peace, happiness and joynnLastly we want to send loving kindness all beingsnnMay all beings be safe, happy and live with joynRepeat this line several timesnnYou can shorten this meditation tonnMay I be safe from harm nMay I be happy as I am nMay I be peaceful no matter what is happeningnMay I be healthy and strongnMay my world be filled with joy happiness and peacennThen end with may all living beings everywhere be safe, happy, healthy and free nfrom suffering. KnowledgennKnowledge can be a powerful transformation tool. BooksnnBooks have always been a medium through which knowledge is been obtained. There are writers proclaiming to be able to fix your life in ninety days. There are self help books on every topic each professing to know the answers. The trick is to remember the author is writing the book from his/her own perspective and experiences. A good guideline for books is to only take from them what is relevant to your life situation and what feels right for you. Read a number of books on the same subject and by different authors and find out what common themes run through them all. Remember what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. nWhen you are first beginning to find out who you are and what you want from life reading about other people’s life experiences and struggles may give you a sense of belonging or a sense of purpose. You might even have an “aha” moment when the author becomes a mirror of your own life experiences. Workshops & Seminars Workshops can be an effective way to gather knowledge about your self. They can be a way of learning about new tools and a safe environment to explore the use of those tools. Most counselors and workshop facilitators have been on a journey filling up their toolboxes and the workshop gives them an opportunity to share the knowledge they have gained. But most importantly a workshop gives you the opportunity to see yourself in others and know you are not alone, that others struggle with the same human dilemmas. People in the communitynnCounselors: Help you gain clarity and directionnMentors: People doing what you want to be doing are an excellent source of knowledgenElders: The older members of our community have a lot of valuable knowledge to share Exercise: Write down other ways to obtain knowledge.nExample: Things to remember: Masters move with love and purpose towards their destination. Masters proceed only after observing, listening and accepting. Masters know their courage comes from clarity of purpose and the knowledge they are in control of their destiny.nn So now you have the tools what happens next? nYou have to begin. Christians have a saying ‘God can’t drive a parked car’ Taoists say ‘a journey begins with a single step’ Spiritualists say ‘you manifest what you want by taking the steps towards it’ What this means is change requires action regardless of whether you believe in Angels or divine intervention or universal energy or something else. nIt’s hard work finding out who you are and where you fit into the world. It takes time, it takes a few bumps and maybe a few dead ends, it takes a lot of courage to look into a mirror and see your imperfections for what they are and know you are a Master waiting to be reborn. But without the journey there is no point to the destination. All those lessons along the way help you to learn and grow so that you can face the next challenge with confidence and belief in who you are in what you can achieve. Exercise: The white cup (mug etc) Some times we are like an empty cup. We struggle to have a sense of self and say out loud things like “ why does my life feel empty” or why can’t I make friends”. Our soul or our inner world is a cup we fill up with love. Some people have so much it overflows you will know them by the joy you feel in their presence. Some people have so little love their cup is almost dry you will know them by the gray cloud of gloom that follows where-ever they go. What happens when the cup is empty? Often we look to others to fill it and end up in dysfunctional relationship always wanting something from the other person or conversely blaming them for the way we feel. The white cup exercise is about learning to fill your own cup so it overflows with joy and happiness. 1. Purchase a white coffee mug and a black permanent markern2. Every day think of something you can do for yourself. For example take a long bath or go to the movies or start a class or join a group or simply walk on the beach or go for coffee with a friend or meditaten3. Every time you do something draw a line on the mug making your way up to the top. You are basically watching your cup fill up and very soon it will be overflowing. DON’T STOP when you reach the top rather use the mug as a reminder to nurture your self physically emotionally and spiritually.nnnThe Bumper car effectnnWhen you step into a bumper car at the fair it feels like no matter which way you turn someone or something hits you when you least expect it. The problem with the bumper cars is you never get time to find your balance or find some space to figure out the best way to go. Here are a few ideas about what you can do when you start to feel this way: 1. Let go of any need to ‘fix’ things. Let go of any resentment, anger, guilt or shame that has built up.n2. Let go of any expectations in regards to outcomes and other peoples behaviorn3. Take a moment or a day to breath ….put aside issues for awhile focus on things which bring you back into balance.n4. Ask for help. Sometimes we cling to things so tightly so intent on fixing them for ourselves we don’t allow anyone to help carry the load so we can gain our balance. Things to remember: Everyone no matter what their life circumstance, race, religion or sexual preference was born a Master. Steps to happiness everyone knowsnnYou can’t be all things to all peoplenYou can’t do all things at once nYou can’t do all things equally wellnYou can’t do all things better than everyone elsenYour humanity is showing just like everyone else’snnSo: nYou have to find out who you are and be thatnYou have to decide what comes first and do thatnYou have to discover your strengths and use themnYou have to learn not to compete with othersnBeing no one else is in the contest of ‘being’ younnThen: nYou will have learnt to accept your own uniquenessnYou will have learnt to set priorities and make decisionsnYou will have learnt to live with your limitationsnYou will have learnt to give yourself the respect that is duenAnd you will be a most vital mortalnnDare to believe:nThat you are a wonderful unique personnThat you are a once in all history eventnThat it’s more than a right it’s your duty to be who you arenThat life is not a problem to solve but a gift to cherishnAnd you will be able to stay one up on what use to get you downnnAuthor unknownnnThe End (c)Robin Newman 2007