One thing is certain, Tantric sex is not for everyone. Tantra requires a level of consciousness that is based on energetic and spiritual principles. In a nutshell, the foundation of Tantric sexual practice is learning to generate copious amounts of orgasmic energy, and directing it up the energetic pathways that target the spiritual faculties that reside in the brain. It is in the brain where sexual energy, the creative energy from which we all sprang, transforms consciousness. In this way, a new perceptual reality can be born that gives birth to Unity Consciousness (Oneness). Saints and sages throughout time have attempted to describe this “no-mind,” pure consciousness state, whereby the predominant experience is a feeling of oneness with all of creation combined with the revelation that divinity is within.

As a Tantra Yoga Instructor, my approach to esoteric sexuality is to inspire within you a reinterpretation of your own sexual behavior so that you may come to know sex not only as healthy, wholesome, pleasureful, and fun, but also a vehicle for divine understanding. It should be noted that the true function of orgasm, beyond ecstatic pleasure, is to provide a lift-off that propels us into a totally new dimension of spiritual awareness that ultimately leads to higher consciousness. Accomplished male lovers learn to savor and e-x-t-e-n-d the orgasmic build-up, by withholding ejaculation, as a means of cultivating sexual energy.

It should be noted that tantric sexual techniques were primarily designed for men, because unlike women, men lose vital life-force energy when they ejaculate. This loss of vital energy is reflected in their diminished erectile capacity, the immediate loss of interest in their partner, the waning of their sexual desire, the need for sleep and their inability to access the spiritual dimension through sex. Seminal retention was developed not only to reconcile this gender imbalance, but also to insure complete female sexual satisfaction.

However, the path to spiritual enlightenment through the vehicle of ecstatic sex requires a sexual skill set that enables a man to surrender deeply into high states of arousal, on the “cutting edge” of orgasmic release, just before the point-of-no-return, but without spilling over and crashing the system. Chronic ejaculators, who are forever short-circuiting the orgasmic build-up with their incessant and often premature discharges, may be unaware that the physical body has a much greater capacity for heightened pleasure if ejaculation is withheld and the system is allowed to stay up and running.

Let’s not forget that as men, we only experience pleasure until we ejaculate. Thereafter, we enter a less than thrilling refractory phase when our erectile capacity is diminished and our penis does not like to be touched. That in itself wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t accompanied by a post-ejaculatory letdown that tends to sabotage the close emotional bond that lovemaking induces, and that many women find so appealing. For all these reasons, male ejaculation is a vastly overrated source of sexual pleasure and calling it the “climax” of pleasure is really just a bad habit left over from early programming.

While virtually every man knows the fleeting pleasure of an ejaculation, to achieve a truly e-x-t-e-n-d-e-d ecstatic response, a method must be employed just before the point-of-know-return, to prevent, or at least delay ejaculation. Here’s how it works! Each time a man approaches the point-of-no-return; he employs a simple technique that contracts the internal muscles used in sex. It’s similar to squeezing out the last drop after urinating, but with a different intent. This squeezing action of his “sex muscles” must be in the form of a sustained clench until the urge to ejaculate passes and his erection softens. When an ejaculation is successfully averted, we call this a holdback. When properly toned, the sex muscles are well equipped to prevent an unwanted ejaculation. Holdbacks assist not only in prolonging lovemaking, but also building arousal to higher peaks once stimulation is resumed. An added bonus is that the development of the sex muscles provides men with the awesome ability to orgasm without ejaculating. This is significant because it assures men that there is no pleasure deprivation. After every successful holdback, as soon as the urge to ejaculate passes, stimulation may resume. When the point-of-no-return is once again approached, another holdback may be employed.

In theory, conscious male lovers may employ an infinite number of holdbacks in any lovemaking session. With no ejaculation forthcoming, the lovemaking session for the man is free to evolve into what has come to be known as repeated, almost-ejaculation-pleasure-peaks. These pleasure peaks are what amounts to the male version of multiple orgasms that the most passionate women experience. Once a man learns to substitute multiple, full-body, orgasmic pleasure peaks in place of a conventional ejaculation --- any subsequent ejaculations may be considered entirely superfluous.

By delaying ejaculation, holdbacks provide more time for the orgasmic energy to circulate throughout the body until every cell in the body becomes sexually engorged, not just the genitals. Holdbacks also provide an ecstatic orgasmic response of just slightly less intensity than a full-blown ejaculation-orgasm, but unlike ejaculation, they have the advantage of reoccurring again and again. If a man pays close attention, he will notice that the most intensely pleasurable time that he experiences is the interval right before ejaculation would occur --- just below the orgasmic release point. Here, exists a very special “doorway” that is virtually imperceptible to the untrained neophyte. When this doorway is entered thoughtfully, with keen awareness and restraint, ejaculation can be averted, or delayed, at least until your lover has had as many orgasms as she desires. Of course, we also are provided with a greatly heightened intensity of pleasure.

With practice, any man can learn to successfully negotiate this “doorway” so that the interval just before climax can be savored and prolonged for maximum pleasure. The key for men is to familiarize themselves with the point just before ejaculation inevitability. It’s at that point where trained male lovers and their cooperative partners cease all stimulation. They learn to relax in stillness together safely nestled in the ecstatic space between the world of peak arousal and orgasmic release.

Of course, relaxing on the cutting edge is a bit like walking across a tight rope high above the ground. One accidental slip and it’s over. The challenge for every man is to stay in control so as not to bring down the system with an unwanted discharge of orgasmic energy. Using a cautionary approach, a Tantric man learns to play on the cutting edge of orgasmic release like a master surfer successfully riding wave after blissful wave to shore.

The longer the sexual discharge is delayed, the more the arousal heightens until the expanding orgasmic energy at the base of the spinal canal can no longer be contained in the genital area, and so, the energy begins to ascend. The upward movement of energy is entirely involuntary and internal, traveling up the energy pathways like irresistible waves of ever increasing bliss. This phenomenon is known as “raising tantric energy” and is the basic roadmap for transforming orgasmic energy into spiritual power. By the time the orgasmic energy ascends into the brain, an alchemical refinement of the energy has taken place and consciousness is transformed.

Author's Bio: 

Victor Gold is a holistic health educator specializing in erotic spirituality. He has a private practice offering tantric instruction and sexual healing in Santa Rosa, California. Gold has been featured in several instructional videos including Deborah Sundhal's, "Tantric Journey Into Female Orgasm," and Joseph Kramer's, "The Best of Vulva Massage." He is the author of the groundbreaking book, "The Potency Principles: Transforming Sexual Energy Into Spiritual Power."