When it comes to how someone behaves, it might generally be a reflection of their true self. Then again, it might generally be a reflection of their false self.

If it is generally a reflection of their true self, it will mean that they will have a strong connection with their body. By having this connection, they will be in tune with their needs and feelings.

Another Reality

On the other hand, if it is generally a reflection of their false self, it is likely to mean that they won’t have a strong connection with their body. By not having this connection, they will rarely if ever be in tune with a number of their needs and feelings.

However, irrespective of what position they are in, how they experience life can just be what is normal. Consequently, they are unlikely to be consciously aware of the fact that they are or are not in tune with themselves.

The Second Experience

Now, if how someone behaves is largely not a reflection of who they are and this is not something that stands out, it is likely to show that they have been this way for a very long time. This is not to say that they won’t ever experience frustration or even end up being exhausted.

But, even if they do, they might not be able to see why they are experiencing life in this way. As a result of this, they will continue to behave in the same way and their life won’t change.

A Strong Need

Their need to please others is likely to be very strong, and this need will cause them to do what they can to take care of other people’s needs. If they were to think about changing their behaviour let alone changed it, they could soon end up experiencing anxiety.

Based on what would take place if they were to express themselves, it will be as though being there for others is the right thing for them to do. Still, for them to get to this point, they would need to realise that they are out of touch with themselves and are living a life that is not in alignment with who they are.

Staying Busy

To avoid the feedback inside them that is there to let them know that they are on the wrong track, they could more or less always be doing something. By being this way, they won’t be able to hear what is going on inside them.

As the days, weeks, months and years pass, though, it could get harder and harder for them to ignore this guidance. What could also play a part in what makes them listen to themselves is that they could end up being well and truly exhausted.

A natural Outcome

If they were to arrive at this stage, they could be at the point of no return. Living how they have lived for as long as they can remember will no longer be an option.

But, while they won’t be able to carry on behaving in the same way, they could still feel the pull to do so. Behaving in this way won’t be serving them and yet, for some reason, they won’t just be able to change their behaviour.

Inner conflict

What this will show is that there is an inner battle taking place between their true self and their false self. The former will want to see the light of day but the latter will do what it can to make sure that this doesn’t take place.

As things stand, their false self will be far stronger than their true self and this part of them will believe that it has to maintain control in order for them to exist. Thus, according to this part of them, if this false self was to fall away and they were to freely express themselves, they would die.

A Strange Scenario

What they could struggle to understand is why they are out of touch with themselves and have such a strong need to be someone that they are not. They could feel deeply frustrated and helpless and hopeless.

For them to understand why they are this way, it will be a good idea for them to explore what took place during their formative years. This is likely to have been a time when it wasn’t possible for them to be an authentic human being, and, if they did express themselves, they might have been rejected and/or abandoned.

Back In Time

They probably had to be who their parent or parents wanted them to be, with them having to meet a number of their needs. This would have meant that they had to lose touch with a number of their needs and feelings and to develop a disconnected false self.

Moreover, they would have been deprived of the love and attunement that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Not receiving what they needed would have deeply wounded them, and this pain, along with a number of their developmental needs, would have ended up being repressed by their brain.


So, even if it was not their intention to cause their child to lose touch with themselves and live on the surface of themselves, that’s what would have taken place. They wouldn’t have been able to see their child as a separate being that had their own needs and feelings and life to lead.

Deep down, they probably saw their child as someone who could finally give them what they missed out on during their formative years. In this case, it will show that they were also deprived of the love that they needed and had to lose touch with their true self.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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