When it comes to what someone’s life is like, there are at least two things that will play a part. Firstly, there will be what is taking place in their mind, and secondly, there will be their behaviour.

Nonetheless, what is taking place in their mind will be the most important part, as what is taking place here will affect how they behave and how they perceive their life. Naturally, how they perceive something will influence how they respond.

A Common Saying

It is because of this ability that it is often said that although one can’t control what happens to them, what they can do is control how they respond to what happens. What this will also mean is that most of what goes on ‘out there’ will be out of their hands.

So, if something goes well they will be ‘lucky’ and, if it doesn’t, they will be ‘unlucky’. Of course, they can work towards experiencing certain outcomes but this won’t change the fact that they will have very little control when it comes to what happens in their life.

The Evidence

What supports this view is that even if someone has a positive outlook, it doesn’t mean that their life will always go as they want it to go. This will prove that they only have a small amount of control over their life.

Said another way, this will prove that they are largely an observer of their reality and that other people, and even external forces, have the biggest impact on what happens and the direction that their life takes. Considering this, having a positive outlook will only do so much and it is certainly not a panacea.

Another Area

When it comes to their physical health, there is also only so much that they can do. Apart from eating well, exercising and keeping their stress levels down, for instance, they won’t have a lot of control over this part of their being.

It could seem as though this part of them has a mind of its own and doesn’t really respond to what is taking place in their mind. This part of them could be seen as something that is largely influenced by their genetics.

It’s All in the Past

As for the painful experiences that they have had, or those that they can remember, these can be seen as been firmly in the past. They may find that if they think about certain periods of their life they feel sad or angry, but they might just believe that this is due to them thinking about something that is painful.

Therefore, if they don’t think about anything like this, they won’t experience pain and what took place won’t have an effect on them. They will need to make sure that they don’t think about such things.

Going Deeper

If someone can relate to the experience above, it will show that they are not aware of the fact that they have an unconscious mind. Who they are will begin and end with their conscious mind.

The truth is, however, that they also have an unconscious mind, and what is held in this part of their being will have a big effect on what takes place in their conscious mind, what takes place ‘out there’, and on their physical health. It might seem strange as to why they wouldn’t be aware of this part of them; nonetheless, they will probably live in a society that doesn’t acknowledge this part of their being.

Cast Aside

Not only this, if they had mental and emotional problems and they were to reach out for support, this part of their being might not even be mentioned. The person who they have reached out to might not be aware of this part either, or they could see it as being irrelevant.

If the person who they have reached out to has been trained by the system, it is not going to be a surprise if they have this outlook. They will embody an outlook that is very much part of the society that they are part of.

A Storehouse

This part of their being will hold ‘material’ that is too painful for them to face, such as ‘negative’ feelings, parts of them that they have rejected and parts of them that are seen as being unacceptable. Once something that been pushed out of their conscious mind and into this part of them, their mind will believe that it is gone.

Their conscious mind can then forget that it has forgotten about something. As time passes, though, what they have lost touch with will co-create the situations and circumstances of their life.

Two parts

What they have disowned will define who they are attracted to and what feelings they experience when they are with other people. Who they are drawn to is then not random and, in general, other people don’t define how they feel.

Ergo, if they experience ‘negative’ feelings when they are with another person, it can show that what is within them has been brought up to the surface, and these feelings will have played a part in why they were drawn to them in the first place. Having this understanding will be a key part of their ability to change their life, and to grow and evolve.


Taking all this into account, it shows how imperative it is for someone to realise that they don’t just have one mind. If they don’t understand this, they will be victimised by the part of themselves that they are not aware of.

What is going on ‘out there’ will have a lot of control over them and they will spend a lot of their time and energy trying to fight their own reflection. Ultimately, what is taking place externally is not there to hold them back or to make them suffer; it is there to shine the light on what they need to resolve within themselves.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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