Anger generally has an outward directed energy. Someone in your life does something that does not meet your expectations or standards and you get mad. Or they don’t do something they said they would do and you get mad. Or they fail you or someone you care about and you get mad.

Often this “mad” is also accompanied by a kind of righteous indignation. It’s that righteous indignation that is so very seductive to the ego. It wraps its gnarly little hands around your heart and puffs itself up in your mind. Righteous indignation has its own energy and for some people can be quite compelling.

Take a look at the most recent time you felt mad about something. Was there also a sense of righteous indignation? Can you see how that feeling seems to justify your anger? Can you see how puffed up righteous indignation is?

Alternatively, if you release yourself from the grip of righteous indignation, it might just be easier to more fully understand the anger you are feeling. It will likely be easier to engage in a little self-inquiry and gain insight about the best course of action. For often, anger calls for action. Yet, when you jump into action without fully understanding the anger and it’s root source, you are likely to create more distance in your relationships and more stress in your heart. In the same way, if you are still scrambled up with the full energetic charge of the anger you are likely to create more problems.

Therefore, a good strategy is to first release the energetic charge of the anger (there are a number of tools you can use for this), then engage in a little self-inquiry and finally decide on a course of action to take. Because the root of most anger is some unmet need or want, your self inquiry might mean asking yourself a few questions like, “What did I expect that didn’t happen? What do I need that I’m not getting? How can I get my needs met without verbal violence?” Most people get that it’s not cool to try to get your needs met with violence. However, when you are caught up in your anger, you might think that their verbal violence is justified. That’s one of the reasons it’s best to clear the energetic charge of the anger first.

What are your tricks for clearing the energetic charge of anger? How do you release yourself from righteous indignation?

Author's Bio: 

Melanie McGhee, L.C.S.W. is an award-winning author, relationship expert, psychotherapist and personal coach. For more than 25 years, she has been helping people cultivate rich relationships with themselves, others and Life. A long-time yoga practitioner and meditator, Melanie sees relationship as one of Life’s perfect practice spaces for experiencing yoga, union with the Divine in yourself, others and Life. She generously shares tools and practices that can take your relationships to the next level.