For those of you who aren’t yet familiar with what it means to hold onto other people’s energy, here’s a quick explanation: Empaths have a very thin aura, resulting in a tendency to absorb other people’s mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energies whenever they are exposed to it. For example, you may find yourself running a conversation in your head well after its taken place. This is mental energy you’ve taken in. Feeling upset in response to a friend’s upset is an example of taking in emotional energy.

While it’s something that can be described as automatic, it’s by no means an uncontrollable event.

Generally, there are 2 main reasons for being unable to let go of the energy absorbed each day: One being a lack of awareness in what is going on, leading to the belief that this energy is your own or you’re “just being too sensitive” about everything or even that you’re crazy (please know this is not the case!).

The second reason lies in a deeper, underlying issue with which letting go becomes a source of distress. This is an area for greater examination, as you’ll see below. You would think that simply recognizing that an energy isn’t yours would be enough to evict it, but that’s not necessarily the case when a deeper issue is the cause of holding it in. The key to focus on here is that energy follows intention, meaning that you could well be running a sub-conscious programme, such as one of responsibility, that creates an intention for you.

Feeling responsible for making everyone feel understood is something empaths deal with everyday…but it doesn’t serve anyone if you ignore your own feelings or are not yourself understood. This can even cause you to feel exhausted by the effort of always helping others or resentful that your needs are not being met by others the same way. Again, nobody is really being helped in this situation.

There are other reasons for holding excessive, outside energy, however, they can be best summed up in one word: Fear. Generally speaking, a fear of yourself or embracing the real you. To explain it further:

• Emptiness – This is basically a fear of feeling empty when all those voices and extra emotions are gone, because it necessitates focusing in on and addressing your own feelings, which can be incredibly scary.

• Fear of losing our internal GPS – Empaths, in a manner of speaking, understand and navigate the world through their ability to ‘feel’ out the people and places around them. Turning that off, even for a little while, can lead to feeling like you’re groping your way through a dark room you’ve never been in before.

• Fear of not being helpful or needed – This goes with the responsibility thing. Empaths tend to feel responsible for knowing what other people feel, so they can help. It’s safe to call this an empathic instinct…and instincts are never easy to ignore.

• Fear of loneliness – Similar to emptiness, this fear reflects a need to use other people’s energy as company, even when the feeling isn’t pleasant. However, it’s important to separate the people you interact with from the energy imprint they leave on you.

• Fear of losing the escape hatch – This refers to holding onto energy as an escape from the real world, which can be a very intense, overwhelming and even scary place for empaths. In this way, it’s like armor but this armor also keeps you separated from yourself.

The good news is that fear, like any other gatekeeper in your life, can be overcome with awareness and perseverance. My free audio meditation session empowers you with steps you can take to better understand how to discern your energy from that of others, so you can begin the process of taking control.

Author's Bio: 

Mette Muller is an intuitive life coach, specializing in empaths and other sensitives who feel stuck, misunderstood or overwhelmed. After overcoming her own struggle, she designed a development system comprised of her own experience and a three-tiered system involving energy management, mindset & manifesting and developing intuitive abilities. Thus, Best Self Experience was born.

As a certified Soul Realignment practictioner, instructor of Anusara Yoga and having worked with non-profits to assist in social change in many nations, Mette has gathered a wealth of knowledge of various peoples, across many cultures and religions. This knowledge lends itself toward a greater understanding of what individual development comprises of and blends seamlessly into her natural passion for helping others attain true happiness in their lives.