Unleashing the Wild Woman

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
– Mary Oliver

I don’t have to be good? What a RELIEF! I have spent much of my life trying to be good. And I’ve succeeded at being good. But it didn’t give me the full-spectrum life I wanted.

First, a bit of history. I was your quintessential good girl. I was always focused on getting good grades and going to good schools. I touted myself as being a good friend and a good daughter. I had a string of very good, respectable jobs. Since getting married five years ago, I strove to be a “good” wife. But I am finally letting these ideas go, as they really started chafing at my spirit over time. Who defines what is “good” anyway? And how much of myself gets sacrificed in the process?

Recently, our women’s circle dove into the energy of the wild woman; I’ve been unhooking my self-imposed leash. This unleashing has taken many different forms. First of all, it’s meant breaking over a ten-year stint of eating a primarily vegetarian diet-which is the preferred mode of many spiritually-oriented folks that I know. But when I talked to the soft animal of my body and asked her what she loves, she said “STEAK!” Now this was quite a shock to me. But I listened and dragged my husband to the nearest grill to get a ten-ounce rib eye. I was concerned that my stomach might go into convulsions after so many years without meat. But I savored every bite and my stomach was incredibly grateful. And so was my iron count, as I’d been anemic for a while. This is not to say that I still don’t think vegetarianism is fantastic, especially in terms of living lighter on our planet. But many times we just need to listen to our body wisdom and follow her directions.

But the fun doesn’t end there. This wild woman wants to drink sangria and smoke cigarettes. She wants to flirt with men besides her husband (with his consent, of course). She wants to stay out late, dancing in the moonlight. She wants to run with the wolves and to follow her gut. She wants live a bit closer to the edge.

And all of these desires are things that my more spiritually-oriented persona used to condemn and frown upon. “Unevolved.” I would label my impulses, before hastily sweeping them under the carpet.

But I am finding that there’s great liberation and wholeness that has resulted from embracing all sides of myself-especially those sides that aren’t particularly endorsed by our culture. Instead of celebrating a woman who is in touch with her wild instinctual nature, all of her divine feminine, our society might be label her unladylike, classless, or even slutty.

Working with this primal archetype has been a deeply rewarding journey. Here are a few of the results I’ve found from taking the lid off my own more wild side. I have had a lot more energy, especially creative energy. I find myself busting through my fears and taking healthy risks. I have dissolved many layers of shame and guilt that used to constrict me. In my public singing and public speaking, I am expressing myself in a fuller, more powerful way (see my most recent song dedicated to Pele, the fiery volcano goddess to see what I mean!) My sex life has gotten wilder and less predictable. And I am having a lot more fun!

My image of an awakened woman is one who is connected to her soul essence and who has integrated the many facets of her goddess femininity-including this wild, instinctual side. It’s the fountain of our creative life force. So we are wise to unleash Her and celebrate Her. It is time.