Using EFT with the Depressed Client

The results of several research articles show that shame plays an important role in depression. I was prompted to examine the research when I noticed that many of my clients seeking help for depression also had feelings of shame. So I did a little informal survey of my own. I randomly pulled 71 client records. As part of my client intake process, I use a “Symptom Checklist” consisting of over 80 emotional, psychological and physical indications of distress. Included is a checkbox for “depression” and one for “feelings of shame”. Twenty-eight (28) of these 71 clients had checked “depression” (almost 40%). Of these 28, a whopping 54% also checked “feelings of shame”. And, this does not account for those who were not consciously aware of shame, or did not feel comfortable sharing their sense of shame at the initial visit. The difference between shame and guilt can be confusing. Shame refers to a negative focus on aspects of the “self” in response to a wrongdoing (e.g., ”I’m a horrible person for doing that”). Guilt refers to a focus on the wrongdoing which, in adaptive guilt, leads to reparation (e.g., “I feel bad for what I did and I should apologize”). Technique for Assessing & Collapsing Shame By its very nature, shame is not something many easily or comfortably shares with others, even with professionals. Unless the client broaches the subject first, I believe it is important to have already built a strong sense of trust and rapport with the client before exploring feelings of shame. Fear of judgment can preclude clients from continuing treatment. Once trust has been established, using the following technique can prove very fruitful. I call it the technique “The Truth Barometer” and here’s how I use it as it relates to shame. First, I give the client the following explanation: “I’m going to say a statement. I then want you to repeat the statement out loud. After which I want you to let me know how true this statement feels to you on a scale from 0 - 10. I don’t want you to analyze the statement logically. I want you to tell me from the heart or the gut how true it feels. Zero means the statement feels absolutely false, while 10 means it feels absolutely true. Something in between means it feels somewhat true.” Next, I lead them through this exercise using the following statements, making note of the intensity: “I am no good.” “I am bad.” “I am evil.” “I am not a good person.” “A part of me is bad.” “A part of me is evil.” “I am ashamed” “I am not worthy.” “I am unacceptable.” “I am deficient is some way.” “I don’t deserve what I have.” If all of these statements are rated a zero, I ask them if there was ever a time when they felt any of these statements were true. I repeat the statements, if necessary, having them review how true these statements felt in the past. Should there be any feelings of truth to these statements, I ask them to think about the first time they remember feeling this way. This will often lead us to the core issue of shame. Occasionally, a client will be disconnected from any memories. Using the body can be helpful in this situation. I’ll ask the client how they knew the statement(s) held some truth…where did they feel this truth in their body. Then I have them describe the sensation and start tapping. For example, “Even though I feel this tightness in my chest when I say, “I am bad”; I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.” Many times this will reduce the intensity enough for the memories to bubble up.

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