Inner Struggle

In my experience, when one is searching for a higher self, a higher knowing, there is a struggle. Like the child letting go of the parent's hand or the bird taking its first flight so it is for those on the spiritual path. The letting go, the freeing up of, the changing of our ways, the making new choices, the owning of our own power can create great fear and conflict in us and around us.

The ego, that part of us, which attempts to dominate and control and keep us safe... does not appreciate the letting go, the risk, the possibility that another source of energy is far greater than itself. (Please, don't mix up ego with evil or negative influence) The ego is there to protect us, only the ego has no vision. It only function is to keep us alive.

The letting go is the opportunity to see life in a new way, in a loving way, is not what ego wants because ego has seen how love can and does hurt. To open up, to be vulnerable, is not safe so ego does everything it can to keep us safe. It shows us how stupid we are. It reminds us of our past failures. It creates dramas to prove itself right, over and over again. Of course, the ego is just a part of us, a part that we have let control us too long.

When we tell our ego what we really want is love, joy and peace, harmony and happines in all that we be and do, we create a struggle of wills. To prove my point I have watched many people who listen to a motivational speaker. After the speaker is finished people feel energized, excited and motivated to create. It doesn't take long for the old ego to step in there and say "Are you crazy? This will never work" Yet, we give it a shot and lo and behold at the first block we call it quits and ego says "I told you so"( ego sounds like my parents) :) End of story. Ego wins.

This Insight about struggle is telling us that when we choose a new path, a new journey, when we choose out of survival, when we choose to Love then there will be turmoil or struggle. Myself, I became restless, edgy, uptight. I knew I was fighting a battle- a battle of ego vs higher self. To hear that this was just part of the letting go, the transformation to becoming more in tune with the higher self made me feel more at peace. I just focussed on what I truly wanted and let the ego do its whimpering and whining without paying it much attention.

Ego is always with us protecting us. So is the Higher self. Whom you choose to have guiding you is your choice. nnn