Warning: Temper Control- Please!
Written by Ruth Purple
It’s normal for couple’s to have disagreements and arguments. These are actually a make and break factor in the relationship. You can compromise, learn from it, move on, grow- up and flourish or you can give up, turn your back and never look back. But I noticed sometimes that when couple’s quarrel, the issue concerned is not being discussed anymore because of too much chaos and aggression that happened during feud itself.
The fight becomes a character assassination- too personal and unnecessary. During the heated bickering, sometimes the couples can’t help exchange deafening harsh words to each other, in some extreme situations couples throw things at each other and hit each other. This is where the couples clash not to find a solution but how to win the fight.
When this happens, this is where the relationship usually gets lost and the lovers become confused and lose their respect with each other. The only way to prevent your petty arguments from escalating into a UFC Fight is you have to know how to control anger. The only way to do this is through temper control.
Yes, temper control! There is no other way. The good news is that this is a skill meaning it can be learned. And the other good news is that I am here to give you tips on how to harness that skill. In motivating yourself to learn the skill you have to remind yourself the reward that you will get from it and in learning the skill of temper control the reward is happiness.
So, if you want to be happy then be patient. This is one key to remember in temper control, practice patience. You have to realize that there is always a better and calmer way to handle things. It’s just a matter of having the right attitude. Practice relaxation. Take deep breaths.
Another temper control tip is to go to your calm space. If you are not in your elements and you’re partner seems to aggravate things- go to your calm space, give yourself time to steam- off and tell your partner in a calm but matter of factly manner without embarrassing and degrading.
Another temper control guideline that is very important to remember is to be considerate of others and yourself. If you are rude and ungracious to your partner then expect that your partner will treat you the same way. You always get what you give you out. Another practical temper control advice is if you are angry and you are pacing or standing up then sit down, if you are sitting down, then lie down.
Keep in mind that if you are angry, you are 5 seconds away from destroying your relationship or making it better. Pause for 5 seconds, that’s all it takes for logic to come in. And logic always exceeds anger. Another sensible temper control guideline to follow is to try to recall the good and pleasant things about the object of your animosity and try to think if there are something you did that might have caused him or her to treat you differently.
And last and the most common temper control advice is to count one to ten and repeat again, this gives you to time to compose yourself. You know that old adage: Express a speech when you are angry and you will have the most unforgettable speech that you will regret for the rest of your life.
So for your own sake, practice temper control.
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