Watch your Timing when Raising Issues with your Spouse

By Burrow Hill

Allow me to describe a typical scene, in a typical home, with a typical family. The scene takes place in the den (or whatever you call that room in your house). The man is sitting in a chair. I need to stop right here to ask a question. Has anyone ever seen a man sitting in the den without something in his hands; remote control, newspaper, magazine, food or book?

In walks the man’s spouse, who wants to talk with him. So, without preface, she begins. (Please note this could be any member of the family wanting something from Dad).

Back to the scene.

She begins talking. He begins fumbling with the remote control to pause, mute or cut-off the show; saving his place in the book or magazine’ or folding up the newspaper; but he does not physically let go his hold on whichever one is in his hand! He can’t – 1) He’s a man and 2) He’s conditioned all day long, every day that this is only a “sound bite,” maybe 30 seconds long or 40 characters long . . . right?

But does she come in thinking sound bite? Or 30 seconds? Or 40 characters? No. She arrives ready to have a relaxing talk with the man she married, the man she loves and shares her life with.

Watch out! It looks like they have a complete disconnect—before they even start to communicate.

To have a chance to have a successful marriage and successful family life, you need to practice the number one Marriage Building Tool—good communication. Your marriage and family life will improve dramatically and your life will be more fulfilling if you take the time to learn and practice effective communication tools such as I teach in my book, “The Business Side of Marriage,” and at my marriage seminars and couple retreats.

Building a successful marriage takes work and—just as the number one carpenter tool is the hammer—the number one marriage tool is communication. If you want to improve your marriage and your life, go to my web site and learn about the many “talk tools” you can employ to achieve better communication.