I get questions a lot about what people can do to get back together with their ex. This is a popular topic, and sadly I see so many people really making one simple mistake that completely ruins their chances of actually getting their ex back.

Here is the one big mistake that I see so often:

Acting from a place of neediness.

Now what exactly does this look like? It manifests itself as calling your ex several times per day, constantly trying to reach out and apologize or explain how much they mean to you, or relentlessly asking friends and family how your ex is doing.

Now, I’m not saying this to be mean, but sometimes people need a little dose of the harsh truth here.

Honestly, I know where you’re coming from here. I understand that almost uncontrollable need to just voice your thoughts, let your ex know exactly how you feel and hoping that once they “get it” that it will make them want to give you another shot.

But this is really ruining your chances. Let me explain why.

You need to understand that your ex broke up with you in order to get space away from the relationship. If you’re constantly trying to reach out to them over and over again, this will make them feel like you’re not listening.

This will ultimately just make them think that you just don’t understand or “get” them, which only affirms that breaking up was a good decision.

Plus, it also makes them think that they need to push you even further away from them in order to get that space that they want.

As you can see, this will quickly become a vicious circle where the more they push away, the harder most people try. And the harder most people try, the more their ex has to push them away and the more convinced they are that the break up was a good idea.

This is not a situation you want to be in.

I’ve seen so many people make this mistake. Many of these people would have had a perfectly good shot at getting their ex back, but because they fell into this trap, they just ruined the whole thing for themselves.

The solution then is to not try to get your ex back. This is very counter-intuitive, but as soon as you stop trying, your ex will have to live with the consequences of their decision. This is where they will start to actually miss you and they may even reach out to contact you after a week or two of this.

If you’re like most people who have tried to get their ex back, but only pushed them further away to the point where their ex won’t even answer the phone anymore, this will seem like a miracle.

So, if you’re making this big mistake, be sure to correct course right away, and don’t be surprised if your luck starts to change.

Author's Bio: 

If want to learn more ways to make up with ex and learn what to do after you've stopped "trying" to get your ex back, be sure to check out the website Get Back My Girlfriend.

Steve Steiner enjoys helping men improve their relationship and manage the problems that they may experience in relating with and dating women.