If there were a linear scale from zero to 100 to represent a continuum of the human understanding of Love, “spiritually asleep” would begin at zero on the left, “spiritually awake” would begin somewhere in the middle, and “spiritual ascension” would begin somewhere on the far right. A synonymous phrase for “spiritually asleep” would be what I call the “Law of None.” A synonymous phrase for the middle position of “spiritually awake” would be what I call the “Law of One.” Last, a synonymous phrase for the far right position of “spiritual ascension” would be what Source Creator calls the “Law of ONE.”

If you are “spiritually asleep,” then you know yourself as purely human only, and you experience all aspects of the world through the lens of human “love” which vacillates between conditional and unconditional “love” depending on the person and the circumstance. Thus, you say, “I’m only human” when you give this kind of “love” to yourself, others, Source Creator, and all of creation. However, because you believe in the illusion that you are only human, here to “love” like that, you are asleep to truly living, and you (actually) love NONE.

If you are new to all of this, the human you will absolutely revolt against what I just said. Allow me to explain.
“Conditional love” falls under the umbrella of what I call, “human love” (versus “Divine Love.”) “Human love” is so fraught with misunderstandings about what love is that it has the phrases “conditional love” and “unconditional love.” “Human love” does NOT know what love is. If it did, it would not have invented the redundant phrase “unconditional love” or the oxymoron “conditional love.”

“Conditional love” depends on the use of the “if conditional” clause: “IF…, then…” For example, “If I were XYZ, or if I did XYZ, THEN I would love myself.” Or, “IF you were XYZ, or if you did XYZ, THEN I would love you.”
Now, the challenge is that if you are “spiritually asleep,” you are not consciously aware that you are using “if conditions” because you are usually not including the “if” part and the condition consciously. This is because the “if” part and the condition are usually UNCONSCIOUS, buried BELOW the surface.

• For example, most people would not use strong language like, “I don’t love myself,” or “I hate myself,” but they would say, “I am lonely/I don’t like being alone” instead. “I hate myself” has the same meaning as “I am lonely.” Below the surface, both phrases are attached to “if” conditions as there is a condition or set of conditions you have set for yourself about yourself that you are not meeting: “If I loved myself, I would love spending time with myself.” Or, “If I were loveable, then I would love myself, and thus I would love spending time with myself.”

• Another example is if you say, “I don’t love you” or “I hate you,” there is a condition or set of conditions you have set for another about that other that are not being met. Again, these are strong statements though. Most don’t use such strong statements. Instead of saying, “I don’t love you,” or “I hate you,” most would say, “You don’t make me happy anymore.” This is also the language of “if” conditions below the surface: “If you make me happy, I will love you.” *More deeply below the surface, this condition sounds like, “I believe I am powerless to make myself happy as I don’t love myself (which is why I feel lonely when I am alone.) If you make me happy, I will love you. However, if you stop making me happy in any moment, then I will be reminded of my powerlessness to make myself happy. My powerlessness in that moment will make me feel miserable again. However, I will blame my misery of that moment on you because your job in my life is to “make me happy.” If enough moments add up in which you don’t make me happy, I will stop (my conditional) love for you.”

• Another phrase you might say when you don’t love someone anymore is, “You are not who I thought you were.” Again, this is the language of conditions: “If you live up to the fantasy person I have created in my head, I will love you.” More deeply below the surface, this condition sounds like, “I have created a set of conditions upon which I can love you. They may have little to do with you. However, if you meet them, I will love you.”

Even if you use the “if” conditions consciously on the surface, the true meaning of the “if condition” may still be UNCONSCIOUS to you, buried BELOW the surface.

• For example, the statement “If you go out tonight, I will feel lonely” BELOW the surface is, “If you go out tonight, I will not be distracted from my lack of self-love, and my belief that I am powerless to change this will make me feel miserable (lonely.)” To go more deeply than this, it sounds like, “If you stay with me tonight, you will give me the opportunity to give my power to you for being in charge of making me feel better, and for seeking approval outside of me as I don’t have approval of me inside of me. Also, if you stay with me tonight, you will give up the opportunity to keep your power in doing what is best for you because I’ve made you in charge of making me feel better, and will try to guilt/manipulate you into making me happy at the expense of you.”

• Another example is what western religions say, “If you accept God into your heart, you will go to heaven/inherit the Kingdom of God/be saved.” BELOW the surface, this “if condition” is, “God (or whatever term is used) is a conditionally “loving” God (“created” by conditionally “loving” humans.) Therefore, this God is waiting for humans to meet pre-set conditions (as laid out by conditionally “loving” humans) before God can then “love” those humans. Those who are (insert name of religion) only will meet these conditions. Those who are not, the “unfaithful,” are NOT “loved” by God, nor are they going to be given the same opportunity to be “saved.” In fact, they will face God’s “wrath” instead.

FEW are aware of their “if” conditions BELOW the surface, but EVERYONE knows how “if” conditions feel over time: “I love you.” becomes “I love you, BUT…” and depending on the person, this could become, with enough time, “I don’t love you anymore.”

The love felt somehow “goes away,” or, depending on the person, never gets a chance to exist at all.

This is what “conditional love” feels like. These “feelings” of “conditional love” ebb and flow between “zero to hero” according to how a condition or set of conditions are, or are not being met in any given moment. If enough “zero” moments are gathered, the “love” simply “goes away.” If no “hero” moments are gathered, the “love” never gets a chance to exist at all.

Conditional “love” is TAUGHT. NO ONE is born “loving” conditionally. (That is why the birth of a child is known as a “life-changing” experience for the parent(s) as it is an experience of coming in direct contact with the undeniable and unequalled power of “unconditional love.”)

However, for many, the euphoria of this “life-changing” experience does not last. The “unconditional love” gets replaced by “conditional love.” How? A child is forced to learn conditional “love” in ORDER TO SURVIVE, especially the conditional love of the self.

The “if” conditions taught to children seem endless. For example, many children are forced to reject the expression of their emotional body in a myriad of ways: “Stop your crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Below the surface, this is conditional “love” being taught: “If you unconditionally love yourself by naturally expressing your emotions/cry, I will withdraw my love for you/punish you for unconditionally loving yourself, as well as teach you that my love for you is conditional, only given if you behave in a way that garners the return of my conditional love for you.”

If a caregiver/parent does not allow a child to express him or herself emotionally because the caregiver/parent does not like it for some reason, the child is being taught to reject him or herself/to stop loving him or herself in order to seek the “love” or approval of the caregiver/parent. If the child does not successfully get that approval, he or she experiences some form of rejection/punishment: “No dinner for you tonight! Go to bed.” This rejection is terrifying to a child wholly dependent on that caregiver/parent for survival. To avoid experiencing the rejection of the caregiver/parent, the child must learn the NEW dynamics of “conditional love” in order to survive. He or she must learn to reject him or herself/stop loving him or herself unconditionally in order to seek the conditional love of the caregiver/parent to ensure survival.

Thus, most children grow “down” (NOT up!) to UNLEARN the “unconditional love” they are born as, so that they can then learn “conditional love” instead. They grow “down” because they must STOP unconditionally loving themselves to start seeking the conditional “love” of others.

This is why people erroneously believe that “love hurts.” They grow up defining love as conditional, and conditional “love” hurts! It is a constant rollercoaster of rejection, starting with the rejection of the self.
Rejection of any kind is NOT “Love.”

Real, true unconditional/Divine Love NEVER rejects ANYONE or ANYTHING for ANY reason. Real, true Divine Love has NO conditions. It encompasses ALL in ALL ways at ALL times. It is the thread of light that connects the ALL and is the ONE light As the ALL. This is why it is said that we are ALL one, and why I say that Divine Love is synonymous with the “Law of ONE.”

This is also why conditional “love” creates what I call the “Law of None.” When you conditionally love one, you conditionally love ALL. Therefore, you actually truly love NONE.

It is time to return to the truth of who you were when you were born. Create a Divine Love revolution within yourself FIRST, literally with baby steps: ALL babies are born knowing who they are as Divine Love fully loving themselves. Fully learning to love the self is synonymous with the “Law of One.” As you become proficient with these baby steps, you will soon be ready to run with the “Law of ONE.”

Author's Bio: 

Main Areas: Connecting you to your True Power as unlimited Divine Love and Divine Joy
Career Focus: True Power Coach, Speaker, Writer
Affiliation: Rise To Shine Coaching as well as the WhyAreWeOnEarth.com blog

Tina Rayner, CEO of Rise TO Shine Coaching (www.tinarayner.com), is an empath and light worker whose purpose is to serve Gaia’s ascension through teaching Divine Love. Residing in the beautiful White Rock, BC, Canada area, she comes from a background of over 25 years of teaching experience–both nationally and internationally. She is an illuminating, “True Power” speaker, writer, intuitive coach and Kundalini Yoga teacher. Her living legacy is to be her True Power: BE-ing Divine Love expressing as Divine Joy and ONEness. Teaching others how to live this way is what the work of Rise TO Shine Coaching is all about.

For MORE writing from Tina, check out her blog answering life's BIGGEST questions from the HIGHEST perspectives at www.whyareweonearth.com!

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