What Makes You Really Happy?

"Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely upon what you think!" - Dale Carnegie

Do you know what makes you happy? If so, what's currently driving you towards happiness?

So do you know what would make you really happy? Do you think you are creating the right kind of happiness? If you think having loads of money, fetching looks, or the admiration of many will improve your life and make you happy - think again! A new study by three University of Rochester (US) researchers demonstrates that progress on these fronts can actually make a person less happy!!!

"People understand that it's important to pursue goals in their lives and they believe that attaining these goals will have positive consequences. This study shows that this is not true for all goals," says author Edward Deci, professor of psychology and the Gowen Professor in the Social Sciences at the University. "Even though our culture puts a strong emphasis on attaining wealth and fame, pursuing these goals does not contribute to having a satisfying life. The things that make your life happy are growing as an individual, having loving relationships, and contributing to your community," Deci says.

As with earlier research, the study confirmed that the more committed an individual is to a goal, the greater the likelihood of success! But unlike previous findings, this analysis showed that getting what one wants is not always salubrious. "There is a strong tradition in psychology that says if you value goals and attain them, wellness will follow," says Niemiec. "But these earlier studies did not consider the content of the goals."

What's "striking and paradoxical" about this research, he says, is that it shows that reaching materialistic and image-related milestones actually contributes to ill-being; despite their accomplishments, individuals experience more negative emotions like shame and anger and more physical symptoms of anxiety such as headaches, stomachaches, and loss of energy. By contrast, individuals who value personal growth, close relationships, community involvement, and physical health are more satisfied as they meet success in those areas! They experience a deeper sense of well-being, more positive feelings toward themselves, richer connections with others, and fewer physical signs of stress!

The findings in this study support Self-Determination Theory (http://www.psych.rochester.edu/SDT/), a well-established theory of human motivation developed by two of the paper's authors, Deci and fellow University psychologist Richard Ryan. The theory holds that well-being depends in large part on meeting one's basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Intrinsic aspirations make people happy because they fulfill these foundational needs, conclude the authors. "Intrinsic aspirations seem to be more closely related to the self, to what's inside the self, rather than to what's outside the self," Niemiec explains.

Striving for wealth and adulation, on the other hand, does little to satisfy these deep human requirements, at least within this early career stage of life. Yet for this young adult group, the authors suggest that time devoted to extrinsic pursuits, like working long hours, often crowds out opportunities for psychologically nourishing experiences, such as relaxing with friends and family or pursuing a personal passion. Craving money and adoration also can lead to a preoccupation with "keeping up with the Joneses"— upward social comparisons that breed feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. And unlike the lasting benefits of caring relationships and hard-earned skills, the thrill of extrinsic accomplishments fade quickly; all too soon, the salary raise is a distant memory and the rave review forgotten.

Based on the findings above, please ask yourself if there's anything you will need to change in your approach to create and experience ultimate happiness!

For various easy steps to increase your happiness, please see: http://tinyurl.com/qbfxyn.

"Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have." - Zig Ziglar

Make this a Positive, Fruitful & Happy day....unless you have made other plans!

Thanks, warm regards & success,

Patrick Driessen

© Patrick W. Driessen. All rights reserved.