If you’re going through a break up, I know that it can be a challenging time in your life. Even if you knew there were problems in your relationship, the sudden shock of a break up can still catch you off guard. Our relationships are some of the most important things in our lives, often ranking up there with family and career. When your relationship suddenly vanishes, it can really affect you. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re trying to save your relationship.

First, realize that it all starts with you. Although it may be tempting to try to convince your partner back to you, or look at external things that may have caused your break up, you have to take responsibility here. Your own mindset and actions are going to save or destroy your relationship at this point and there is no getting around that.

What you need to do is take a moment or two to pull yourself together. I know if you’re anything like I was when I got dumped, you are probably not quite acting yourself. It is easy to lose touch with yourself during times like thing, but I want you to take a step back and put this in perspective. Even though the pain of rejection can drive people to do somethings they wouldn’t otherwise do, you have to realize that one way or another, you won’t feel the pain you are in right now forever. You will find love again, either by making up with your partner or with someone new.

Once you have your mindset taken care of everything you say and do will no longer come from a place desperation or neediness, but from a calm and grounded center. When you approach your partner this way, your attempts are much more likely to work.

So how do you get this mindset? Well, the best way that I know of is to take about one month or so and just step away from the relationship and your partner and just focus on yourself. Let’s be honest here, you probably need some time for yourself anyway.

Spend the time learning how to be emotionally okay with who you are regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship. If you can love yourself. as you are, then you will be much more attractive to your partner and he will remember all the reason why he fell in love with you to begin with.

So, the secret to getting your ex back and stopping a break up isn’t some sort of covert psychological manipulation or any other sort of unethical shenanigans, but to simply work on your own mindset and focus. Once you can get your emotions under control and get rid of that feeling of desperation or needing your partner’s approval to be okay emotionally, you will be much better off and you can radically change the feelings of rejection into feelings of passion and love that can save your relationship.

Author's Bio: 

If you'd like to learn more great make up with ex tips and advice, please head on over to my website where I'll share everything I know with you, including my own personal story from when my boyfriend broke up with me.

Sarah Scott enjoys helping women deal with the conflicts and challenges they experience in relating with men and helping them form successful relationships.