Can you become a calmer person? Yes. And I will tell you how to do it.


Worrying about making a mistake is an EVEN BIGGER MISTAKE. We always worry when we are wrong. And this is the first mistake of the one who realized his mistake. Because experiences are the burning of vital energy and the poisoning of oneself with stress hormones. We are wrong not at all because we are bad (and this is exactly the assessment we make ourselves when we realize our wrongdoings). We are wrong because WE ARE ALIVE.

However, there may be those around us who will seek to convince us otherwise. It is important for them to make us feel guilty. This is a purely monkey line of behavior aimed at reshuffling the hierarchical structure: the one who is guilty loses his rating. His status in the herd is falling. And along with this, the sphere of his influence is also shrinking, which means that someone's sphere becomes wider.

It so happens that people who are next to us behave instinctively, like monkeys. Not because they are bad. And because this is how our mind is arranged: awareness always suffers from fatigue and ignorance. And if so, then the best tactic worthy of sapiens is to forgive and not take it to heart.

It is important to understand that all moral assessments that we make to ourselves ("I am good", "I am bad") or others lead us away from understanding reality. They are worthless. Instead of evaluating yourself and others, it can be more constructive to understand the essence of the issue and understand what is the cause and what is the effect.


I know what irritability is. In the old days, seeing that I was beginning to have a fit of rage, my wife silently left, taking the children with her. This was the best decision on her part. For an unbridled wave of anger turned me into an animal capable only of destroying everything that a hand could reach. I could throw myself at a stranger simply because I didn't like his look or tone of voice. But I coped with it because I realized that all uncontrollable emotions are a manifestation of weakness. This means that the path of power is in taming them.

So I began to look for and develop independently psychoregulation techniques that allow me to learn how to control my emotional sphere. On this path, I was helped by knowledge about the material nature of the psyche, for only such knowledge allows me to understand what the material mechanism of the development of emotions is. This knowledge enables the creation of self-government technology.

The material nature of emotions is based on the functioning of the limbic system of the brain. The limbic system is included in the work automatically, bypassing consciousness. It is important to understand this in order to understand: WE ARE NOT OUR EMOTIONS! The irritability that you experience is only a consequence of the activity of certain neural modules, but this is not your personal choice.

The beast lives in you. He is aggressive and unbridled. If it breaks off the chain, then it creates a lot of problems for you. To train him, it is important to stop associating yourself with him. He is A HABIT, and you are an inner observer, a trainer and, ultimately, the Master.


A dog is biting only from a dog's life. Your irritability is a consequence of the assessments that you are used to giving to the world, to the people around you and, first of all, to yourself. Evil people are weak people, as they carry a bundle of contradictions that tear them apart.

The first thing that needs to be done to overcome this situation is to find a common language with the beast within yourself. Love it.

An acquaintance of mine took an adult Caucasian Shepherd from the shelter. The previous owner beat her, and the dog grew up cowardly and aggressive. But my good friend managed to convince the dog that he was not a danger to her. He showed concern for the beast, and the beast was tamed.

Our irritability is a consequence of our dissatisfaction with ourselves (and, unfortunately, our loved ones often help us to cultivate this feeling in ourselves). Forgive yourself, learn to love yourself and take care of yourself. But DO NOT INDULGE your weaknesses! Training is caring without indulgence! Just accept this beast for what it is, without judgment, and set a course for two challenges.


The first task is to give up the hustle and bustle. Irritability is a natural consequence of fatigue. Fatigue is a natural consequence of the hustle and bustle. Learn to lead a measured life worthy of a free man. If you feel that you are not in time, then there is something superfluous in your life, which it is better to refuse. Refuse - and you will feel relieved.

The second task is to learn how to stabilize the state of your psyche. The psyche is constantly in dynamics, subject to its own rhythm. This psychic rhythm in its natural form is a cycle of excitation-inhibition. If something starts to outweigh, we feel bad.

Irritability, as a rule, is a consequence of hyperexcitation, when the psyche is likened to a spasmodic muscle. To relax it, you need to activate the parasympathetic part of the nervous system, which is responsible for muscle relaxation and is associated with the physiological action of serotonin, a hormone that makes us feel satisfied, inner comfort and pleasant calmness.

As you can imagine, both of these tasks are closely related and rest on the trainer's ability to find a common language with the beast. I call the trainer's skills psychoregulation and refer to the third stage of the "Hunter" method. In future articles, I will try to expand on this topic in more detail.

Author's Bio: 

My name is Rudiyr. I am from Russia. I am engaged in giving advice to people on mental health, self-improvement and harmonious development. I am also the author of the course "Philosophy of Practical Natural Science". In it, I consider issues of health, positive energy balance of a person, energy sources for a person (sleep, nutrition, physical activity, creativity) and other aspects that allow a person to live happily.
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