For women, sex is much more than just a mechanical biological activity. We want an extraordinary holistic experience with an attentive, perceptive and expressive partner who is willing to delve into the depths of our soul, sharing absolute bliss in divine union. Is that too much to ask?

Granted, that’s a pretty tall order to fill for the average man who gets an erection from a split-second glance at a quasi-sexy image and then goes through a nearly-automated sequence of simple physical motions which culminates in ejaculation. Women are different. More complex. We need various forms of physical stimulation as well as energetic and emotional connection. We want them to make love to our minds, first. We wish to feel a sense of recognition, value and appreciation. If men only knew how much better their sex lives could be with an empowered woman who feels confident, sexy and passionate, then they would certainly be willing to consider what women truly want in bed. Guess what, ladies – it’s up to us to lead the way.

We could begin by increasing our ability to receive pleasure, compliments and affection by letting go of inhibitions and expectations. Once we get out of our heads and into our hearts, focusing on our rhythmic breathing to relax and empty our minds. By evoking a state of reverent meditation during love-making, our sensitivities will be enhanced, making a deeper, more profound experience possible for both partners. Our conscious awareness is a meandering personal discovery of what we take pleasure in, gradually surrendering into pure instinct and intuition with every breath. It is essential to allow plenty of time and space to sensuously explore, with genuine curiosity and a playful attitude. We can gently guide and direct our man’s attention to indulge our preferences and desires with subtle body language and responsive gestures. The more we respond in a positive and engaging way, the more aroused we both become – building the energy and excitement.

Sex is best when there’s no expectation of anything in particular happening, when there’s no actual goal. We just simply allow the pleasure of lovemaking to gently unfold, whether it’s the first time together or the five-hundredth time. We have the ability to set the tone with every movement, expression and reaction. To achieve optimum orgasm, simply focus on the physical sensations, feeling fully present in the moment – in the body. There is a slow dilation deep inside, expansion of consciousness as we tap into our succulent nature. This cycle happens in waves, deepening in intensity, until we are absorbed in pleasure, taken over by the energy of soulful union. Currents of life force surge through our bodies, revitalizing every cell, removing blocks and balancing the body, mind and spirit.

And finally, we can learn to ride our sexual energies into our inner world, the world of the soul, as well as outward into relationship. We can practice lovemaking as a form of meditation – opening our hearts to love, enabling us to have more intense and momentous orgasms while sharing mystical bliss with our partner. A healthy robust sex life can improve all other areas of our lives, as we expand our conscious mind and feel a deeper connection with the essence of who we truly are.

-Allura Grace

Author's Bio: 

Allura Grace has worked with women of all ages and of diverse backgrounds for many years in offering support, holistic therapy and relationship counseling, as well as sharing resources and useful information in the areas of women’s sexuality, health & wellness. Allura has facilitated various women’s groups, retreats, conferences and special events for women to come together in community to share, connect and support one another.

Allura also works with women individually to help resolve personal issues around relationships and intimacy, specializing in helping women who may have emotional and/or physical issues and insecurities with sexual expression and experiencing orgasm. She enjoys helping clients explore their passions in finding a sense of purpose and to manifest their dreams and desires. She is a certified Hypnotherapist, NLP Master Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor.

Currently, Allura enjoys writing articles to empower women in their sexuality, promoting a healthy fulfilling sex life - with or without a partner!

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