What you can do to make your relationship better all year long

When special occasions come around, you know what that
means: time to wine, dine, and romance your sweetie whether handholding and gift giving, it’s nice ever your opinion on enforced you feel like it or not. And what Wthat there are occasions to focus on the fun, romantic side of your relationship. But what about the less, well, sexy parts of being a couple—the ones that are making so many people miserable the other 364 days of the year?

“The truth is, romance is a very small part of what makes a marriage or long-term relationship successful,” explains Dr. Howard Rankin, creator of the Science of You website (www.scienceofyou.com) and founder of the American Brain Association. “It’s getting the other 98 percent right that makes a couple last in the long haul. So, really, it’s too bad we don’t have any days devoted to issues like communication, fighting fairly, and forgiving.”

Relationship change requires behavior change, and this is far from easy. Dr. Rankin feels there are certain, very specific things you—yes, you—can do anytime during the year that may change your relationship for the better.

“It’s fine to enlist your partner in this effort,” says Dr. Rankin. “But if he or she won’t cooperate, you try changing and see what happens. Very often you’ll find that your partner quickly and enthusiastically reciprocates, and the entire dynamics of your relationship changes.”

TIPS:

Ask yourself: Would I rather be right …or would I rather be happy? “If you just want to be right and prove your point on everything, your relationship is likely to fail.” Rankin explains. “The fact is that often, there isn’t a right or a wrong way, just different ways. Assuming that yours is the right—and only— way is arrogant and disrespectful. Think about the big picture. Does it really matter how chores are done or is this just about control?”