-- Genuine control is not something lost or gained according to what someone else says, does or thinks. It is within me in abundance at all times.
-- Genuine control is not about trying to make people like or love me. It's about liking and loving myself and allowing my inner beauty to shine through.
-- Genuine control is not something that comes from manipulating the external environment - other people, events, and circumstances. It comes from changing my internal environment - how I perceive and act.
-- Genuine control does not result in feelings of powerlessness, anxiety, and self-doubt. It results in feelings of empowerment, contentment, and increased self-esteem.
-- Genuine control does not drag me down. It lifts me up.
-- Genuine control does not come and go depending on how I'm feeling at the moment. It is within me at all times, even if I choose not to realize it or use it.
-- Genuine control does not mean attempting to make others do things my way and think the way I want. It means making my own choices and thinking for myself.
-- Genuine control does not mean looking outside of myself to determine who I am. It means looking within myself and appreciating who I am.
-- Genuine control does not mean single-handedly transforming economies, business climates, and political realities. It means transforming my internal reality (myself), which in turn positively affects the whole.
-- Genuine control is not about predicting the future - my grades, my income, my relationships, or a thousand other things. It's knowing that whatever happens, I can choose how to perceive and react to life's events.
-- Genuine control does not mean trying to change someone else's feelings. It means that each person's feelings are his or hers alone, just as my feelings are mine alone.
-- Genuine control does not mean never making mistakes. It means understanding that making mistakes (and learning from them!) is essential to my success.
-- Genuine control is not about feeling the need to change other peoples' preferences and opinions. It means developing and respecting my own.
-- Genuine control does not mean attempting the impossible and feeling disappointed that I did not achieve it. It means attempting the possible and congratulating myself on each small success I achieve.
-- Genuine control does not mean telling others how to spend their time. It means choosing how I spend my time.
-- Genuine control does not mean other people, events, and situations determine my feelings, thoughts, and actions. It means that I choose how to feel, think, and act.
-- Genuine control is not about trying to stop the rain, the snow, or the sunshine. It's about making rainbows, snowmen, and sand castles.
-- Genuine control is not about attempting to change what other people think, do, and feel because I know what's best for them. It's about deciding how I react to what others think, do, and feel because I know what's best for me.
-- Genuine control does not mean controlling all of life's events. It means interpreting life's events in a way that promotes my growth, happiness, and well-being.
Deanne Repich is the Director of the National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc., a former anxiety sufferer, and an internationally known anxiety educator. She is the creator of the Conquer Anxiety Success Program, a comprehensive self-study program that guides you step by step through over seventy practical strategies forovercoming anxiety. If you liked this article, you'll enjoyher course, free newsletter, and other helpful resources at: http://www.ConquerAnxiety.com
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