What's in Your Toolbox? A Guide to Being Non-Judgmental

Everyone has a toolbox filled with the tools that represent their strengths, skills and the experience needed to get the job done -- or not.

Imagine you are given the task of building a house. You open your toolbox to find the tools you will need to complete the project. You might have a level, a hammer, a nail gun, dry wall tools, an electric drill, a full socket set and more. In addition, you have the plans for the house, architectural specifications and all the necessary permits. There is also a crew standing by waiting for your direction and leadership.

After you define your specific goals and make your determination to adhere to the schedule, the house goes up, complete and in accordance with your vision. Depending on your ability and experience with the tools available to you, the time required to complete this project is exactly and perfectly attuned to your specific skill set.

But what if you are asked to build a house and upon opening the toolbox, you find nothing but a ball peen hammer with a broken handle and a bent nail. And not only are you missing the building specs, you don't have a crew to help you and no support team whatsoever. Expectedly, this house will look different from the one built using the other toolbox, the toolbox with all the latest tools, clean and in good working order. This construction project will will require a completely different approach and may end up an entirely different kind of structure - if it gets built at all.

Perhaps we should take the view that not everyone gets the same toolbox; not everyone has the right tools to get the job done; not everyone has a good support system in place to make sure they achieve the tasks that lay before them. Some people have to improvise greatly just to get through the day or change the project altogether in order to match their level of skills and resources.

When it comes down to it, we all do the best we can with what we have. No one wants to fail in front of others to or appear incompetent or incomplete in their life. Everyone wants to succeed, to be thought of with approval or admiration. But sometimes it becomes painfully obvious that not everybody has access to the best toolbox and resource platform.

If we can start in our view of others with the understanding that they are doing the best they can with what they have, perhaps our compassionate heart will allow them to advance through life at their rate, not ours. Perhaps we can stop the judging, criticizing, blaming and demeaning of others when their house seems to lop-sided and out of order. Maybe we can learn to take pride in our broad viewpoint, our open-mindedness, our desire to see all others succeed, rather than in how beautiful our house is. Placing our pride on who we are rather than what we have, might just be a better focus.