When Planning A Wedding

Most persons are of the view that wedding planning is like a very overwhelming task to embark upon when they first start to think about it. So what you need to do is to break it down into some more manageable parts. Allow yourself a realistic timeline to plan your wedding. Unless you have a particular date in mind that you absolutely want to meet, then feel free to enjoy your engagement for a while and discuss with your fiancée what you think would work best as far as setting a date is concerned.

Once you’ve set this date you can now work your way back in the calendar to see what you need to do and when you need to do it. On the other hand, if you haven’t yet thought of or set a date it’s no big deal because a lot of couples often give themselves a year to plan a wedding; but really you will find all kinds of time frames for different couples, it depends on what you feel comfortable with. Some couples can manage to plan and organize their wedding in a matter of weeks while other couples may take a couple of months to do it and some may even take more than 18 months. The length of the wedding planning depends on your time availability and also what kind of wedding you want. You can make it as complicated and intricate as you want to, which would most times take a while to organize, or you may just want it to be very simple. Whichever way, the same process applies with only the time difference.

Your Vision

Talk amongst yourselves, that is the bride and the groom to be, about the type of wedding you would want, whether it be a traditional wedding, formal, informal, focusing on fun and colors, winter wedding or a beach wedding, big vs. a small wedding etc. There are a lot of different factors to consider and don’t take for granted that you both want the same type of wedding because that is never usually the case. So discuss this for a while until you’ve reached an agreement as to what your ‘vision’ of the wedding is.

To have a vision or an idea of your wedding does not mean that you now should have an automatic understanding of all the details and exactly how things should look and come together. All it simply means is that you have a framework or outline that you both agree on and that you can go back to when you need to make decisions further down the line.

Structuring Yourself

Now when you are ready to start attacking and looking at the details of the individual parts of the wedding planning you’ll most likely need to start by doing some research. The main reason for doing this is so that you can include or exclude what you want or don’t want for your wedding. But you want to find out about these things sooner rather than later so that you don’t catch yourself forgetting a very important detail for the day of the wedding such as confirming your caterers etc.

Also, depending on the mode of research you prefer you can either talk to people that have gotten married themselves, but remember that these people would have also designed their wedding according to what they wanted, not what you may necessarily want.

You can choose to use wedding magazines which may also give you bits and pieces; but if you want one source of information go to a book store and find a wedding planning book that will give you the full deal. Note that you can of course go to a bookstore online too.

Some wedding books have the feature of sharing with you what you should do at different time intervals (such as 12, 10, 8 and 6 months) before the wedding. Take it and modify as you need. What it does though is give you a tangible check-list of things to do so you can cross off those items you don’t want to do at your wedding. Change the dates as needed BUT be careful of moving too many things too close to the actual day of the wedding. Even if it may seem very early to see a florist 6 months before your wedding or to get your dress 10 months before, it gives you time for in-depth perusal. It is better to do things sooner rather than too late, especially when there will be factors that will play in that you do not have any control over. One such thing is how long it will take to order your wedding dress or whether or not the caterer you planned on using actually did not already have any booking for the day of your wedding. So be sure to book vendors etc. early on.

Assigning Realistic Timelines

It is a MUST that you structure a check-list and assign realistic timelines for when you should have accomplished a particular task. If it makes you feel better you can break things down as far as you want to.

For example, an item on the list could be ‘Getting a wedding dress’ and this might be broken down in to several different steps such as:

1. do research,

2. visit wedding stores to try on dresses,

3. select one dress and order,

4. follow up on order 2 months prior to wedding, etc.

You can then make wedding dress alterations a separate item on the list.

Spread things out when possible and where applicable so that you give yourself realistic timelines. Keep this list very safe and close and in a place where you see it as a reminder but not so much that it will occupy your attention every moment of every day until the wedding day. This said list can end up become very long, but you will find that in a good day you are just ticking off several items at the same time and the overall purpose of giving yourself this overview is so that you can see the bigger picture and always have somewhat of a reference as to what needs to be done and in what order.

You don’t necessarily have to assign specific dates either (such as January 28,2010) but say you decide to use a week or a month for a timeline when something needs to be done, such as finding a florist, which can be assigned to a month as oppose to a day.

It is important to prioritize booking vendors though, especially if you are getting married during a busy wedding season. Such vendors include your food caterers, justice of the peace or priest, venues for ceremony and reception, florist and DJ (if you are having one) etc. These are things that are very essential but that you don’t have control over when it comes to availability. So be very vigilant and book early to make sure you can coordinate them all for the same day. Procrastination can either ruin your wedding day or drive you to push back the date because you couldn’t get a venue or caterer for your specified date. If you are a procrastinator however, you may need a backup plan and research other vendors that you might be able to use.

The Wedding date

Expounding on the point made above it is very important that you know the date of your wedding when you start booking vendors, etc. so that they can pencil you in to their busy schedules and make sure they can provide the specified services you want for your wedding. When you set this date be sure to consider the time you need to plan and then think about the time of the year you are getting married. Things changes with the seasons such as prices, environments, availability of flowers, the weather etc. Also take into consideration if the date of your wedding is on or near to other holidays. If you have your wedding date on a public holiday it may be harder for your guests to find hotel rooms and prices may go up for a lot of things.

Your wedding date is something you will have forever because this will be the date of your anniversary; so even though that may not be your priority it is something good to keep in mind.

Involve Your Partner

Most of the time for a lot of couples getting married, the bride-to-be is the one most involved and concerned with all the details around the planning. If this is the case and you are happy with it then no need to read further (this is for both parties). However, if you want to involve your partner or your partner wants to be involved, welcome that. After all, this is a marriage of you both and he may have certain things that are more important to him for your wedding than they are to you so make sure you outline those.

Upon starting the discussion for the wedding date, make sure you are both comfortable with the season you are choosing, the month and then the day. Ask each other what their ‘dream wedding’ is and what is most important to them. This includes but is not limited to: what needs to be present, what needs to happen, who needs to be there, etc. This can become a long list and further down the line you will prioritize and maybe some things weren’t as important as some others. However, having input from both of you will certainly set you on the right path for your wedding day without any surprising disappointments of what ‘could have been’.

Now, when you are compiling that list, please remember that you do not control all variables; so wanting great weather is all well and good but it may not happen. Ask each other if there are certain things you’d like to take care of, you know like assigning tasks; and by ‘taking care of’ I am referring to taking the main responsibility for having those things handled. That does not mean that the other partner should not be asked for advice or their opinion and to be a part of the decisions that needs to be made. It just means that one of you is going to be more of the driver to check off the items from your list of to-dos.

So ‘assign’ your list between you, or create one where you are co-responsible and also assign a reasonable timeline to complete the list, whether it is a month or a specific date for those to be completed. This way you can go over the list on a monthly or bi-weekly basis and closer to the wedding day on a weekly basis. This is to make sure things have gotten done and to just get that sense of relief that you are on top and in control of the planning of your wedding.

Confirmation Calls

Make sure that a few weeks before the wedding you confirm all your vendors, for example:

* Alternations of wedding dress
* Tuxedo rentals
* Venue
* Caterer of food and any beverages
* Wedding cake or alternative
* Flowers
* Photographer and/or videographer
* DJ or any other arrangements you’ve made for music
* Equipment (music, lights, projector etc)
* Room for the wedding night
* Transportation

Also make sure that if you’ve asked friends or family to assist with anything, such as picking up your flowers that you confirm that too. You may also need to consider notifying the vendor if anyone other than yourself will be picking up goods for you.