If you want to get your ex girlfriend back in your life, you need to be careful about when and how you contact her. As you may have read elsewhere, many relationship gurus encourage you not to contact your ex for a period of time after breaking up. This is often referred to as the "no contact" period.

Now, that's definitely true -- you don't want to be pestering your ex girlfriend with endless calls or texts -- so you should give your ex space for a few weeks after a breakup. This helps show your ex girlfriend you're not needy or desperate, and will give her time to reminisce about the positive aspects of your relationship. The length of this "no contact" phase will vary depending on how long you've been together - if you dated this girl for a year or more, then it's best that you wait at least 30 days.

However, understandably, you may have already reached out to your ex before reading this article. Maybe you told her you missed her... told her you still loved her... maybe you even begged your ex girlfriend to come back to you. These are what we call "weak signals," and they're not good.

If you did send any "weak signals" to your ex, stop now. However, you also don't want to cut off contact with your ex after sending these "weak signals"... that's what she'll remember about you, and she'll spend the "no contact" phase with a weak / needy image of you in her mind. That's not what you want her to remember about you, presumably.

A better way to end communication for a few weeks -- or a good "final message" to send to your ex girlfriend before you stop talking to her for a while -- is to send the opposite vibes: tell her you're actually glad that the two of you broke up, and that it will be a good thing for you to take some time apart. In general, sound positive and upbeat, not depressed and heartbroken.

After sending that positive message, you can then stop talking to your ex for a while (this could be anywhere from 7 days to 2 months depending on the circumstances of your breakup). With the positive message you sent to your ex girlfriend at the top of her mind, she'll start wondering why you were happy about the breakup... and whether she made the right decision ending the relationship.

This is the first step in shifting control of your situation from your ex girlfriend back to you. Eventually, assuming you play your cards right, you will be able to gain complete control of the situation... and make your girlfriend start second-guessing her decision to break up. She may even contact you before you get in touch with her!

If getting back together with her is your goal, then you'll definitely want to be careful when and how you contact your ex. Hopefully this article has provided you with the necessary knowledge to do so.

Author's Bio: 

Ricky Booth is an experienced relationship counselor and dating author. He is chief editor at http://get-the-girl-back.com/