When To Walk Away From A Marriage: When To Call It Quits On Your Marriage

Has your marriage been on the rocks for quite a while now? Do the unresolved misunderstandings keep getting worse as days pass? Do you feel that calling it quits is a better option rather than forcing the marriage to survive?

In a marriage a joint effort is needed to enable the relationship to withstand the problems that it will have to battle. When either you or your husband fails to do the part, the marriage becomes weak and the foundation easily breaks. It is believed that fighting for a marriage is worth the sacrifices that you will have to endure but even in fighting you should be able to determine when it is time to give up. When the situation is just a continuous cycle of failures then calling it quits becomes more reasonable than waiting for the day when nothing is left of you. Here are the factors that you should first consider before you think of the idea of calling it quits on your marriage.

1. Cycle of Fights: When you and your husband keep on fighting over numerous issues and sometimes even on small things that you could just ignore, the relationship becomes unhealthy already. It makes the atmosphere of your home uncomfortable and makes you feel stressed out at the mere thought of seeing your partner again for there will be another series of arguments again. When you can no longer settle your differences and tend to utter words that are degrading to each other, calling it quits should be considered.

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2. Hiding Things from Each Other: Honesty and openness in a relationship are essential in strengthening the bond that you have as a couple. This means that you have to share opinions, ideas, and feelings to each other in order to find a better way of improving the flaws in your marriage. However when you begin to be suspicious of each other and hide your real emotions and thoughts, believing that you can no longer trust each other or your partner is not capable of understanding you, the marriage becomes empty. In a marriage where trust does not exist anymore, calling it quits is better.

3. Failure to Communicate: When you have developed hatred toward each other it results to zoning out your partner in your life. When the situation gets worse, silence takes over and you live your life as if you have no one beside you. Your home lacks warmth and the care needed to motivate growth in your marriage. Allowing yourself to be in this kind of life will just make you feel miserable. Therefore, the decision of calling it quits with your husband should be taken into consideration.

4. Inexistence of Love: Love is the main reason why you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with your partner. When the main reason for being together is no longer present in your marriage then living in one roof becomes meaningless. It will only make both of you unhappy. Calling it quits would be more reasonable than just pretending that you have a perfect marriage.

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In order to spark a flame in a marriage once again, you must start from the very beginning. You must pretend to go back and start dating the woman or man you once met many years ago. It does not matter if you have been married for 20 years or 20 weeks, the process is still the same. Take it back to the very beginning and find out what worked. We are going to go over three things you can do instantly to bring back the flame and spark in your marriage.

The first thing you're going to do is take a chore or task that you can do for your significant other each and every day. This has to be something they can do for themselves. For example, you may find making your husband's breakfast in the morning is something you would enjoy doing for him. If you are the husband, you may find it appealing to open the car door for your wife each and every time from now on while you two are out together. Decide what it is you are going to do and start doing it immediately.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

The second thing you can start doing right away is to show affection to your spouse. The best way to show affection is to give them frequent hugs and tell them you love them. Give your undivided attention to your significant other while you hug them. Hugging someone is very beneficial for many reasons. Make sure you do not wait on the other party to give a big and warm welcoming of each time you see one another. Taking initiative into your own hands and do it without any expectation of anything in return.

The third thing you can do right away is to start playing games with each other. In a marriage, there has to be fun time involved. Taking things seriously all the time will only lead to more stress in your marriage. You and your wife may enjoy playing a game of Monopoly. The two of you may also enjoy an evening out for putt-putt. No matter where that is, find a way to share some fun and excitement with your spouse. The two of you may enjoy go kart racing at your local fun Park. You may enjoy watching your favorite comedy movie on Saturday evening with a Hershey bar, a bag of popcorn, and your favorite soda. Whatever it is, make plans to do it right away.

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You've got to admit that "7 Days of Sex" is a titillating prescription for fixing your marriage. That's why it's also the title of the latest reality show on Lifetime.

But, having sex for 7 straight days is about as close to marriage therapy as reality TV is to reality.

Though Lifetime says this is something completely different, the idea of sexathons for a quality marriage has been making the rounds in some church circles for several years now. The thinking there is to emphasize some of the fun and thrills of the committed relationship.

Lifetime's thinking, apparently, is that lots of hot sex can make bad relationships better.

Well, as they say, it couldn't hurt.

Research tells us that relationship success is all about the MATH... the ratio of positive sentiment to negative sentiment. In layman's terms, what you like has to be five times greater than what you dislike for you to be able to say you're in a satisfying relationship.

If you do the math of "7 Days of Sex" you can see that it's entirely possible to up the percentages on likes versus dislikes in your marriage. That's because sex can really up the P-A-S-S-I-O-N in a marriage. That's:

P layfulness, A ppreciation, S ensuality, S haring, I ntimacy, O xytocin (and vassopressin) the "attachment hormones" and N urturing.

Sex can make you feel great and connected -- which is why you have so much more of it when you first fall in love. It's nature's way of getting you hooked on each other. And it really works, doesn't it!

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But, can sex alone keep you hooked?

Again, it couldn't hurt. But, sex alone really has little impact on negative feelings, which are the source of relationship distress.

If you have a poor connection with your partner -- if you feel misunderstood, neglected, devalued or unsupported -- having lots of sex is more than likely going to lead to lots of bad sex... and more negative feelings.

If couples really want to deal with their marital distress, they have to the things they need to do to feel confident that:

* they can depend on one another

* they can mange their differences effectively

* they can work as a team synergistically

A successful relationship -- one that is deep, strong and resilient -- isn't something that just happens. It is something you create. You need to be accessible and responsive to one another emotionally, not just sexually. THAT is the key to deepening your understanding of each other, strengthening your bond, and working together more collaboratively.

Emotional accessibility and responsiveness requires emotional intelligence - the ability to recognize your own emotions, to reveal your true self, to respond empathically to your partner's needs, and to repair break downs and damage.

Repairing your relationship with "7 days of sex" is like putting a fresh coat of paint on a termite-infested house. It may look and feel pleasing for awhile. But in the end, if you don't call an exterminator, the house will eventually crumble.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

The Floodgates are Open

According to research on marriage counseling, while it can be beneficial for many couples, overall much of it just doesn't work all that well. Rather than just settling for the traditional approaches to couples counseling, leading Marriage Researcher Dr. John Gottman is uncovering data proving the worth of the couple's chemistry and how they interact with each other effectively. He wants statistical data, and an understanding of what leads to success or trouble in a marriage. This includes emotionally charged relationships that most believe are destined to fail, because Gottman has found that's not necessarily true.

In a laboratory filled with EKG machines, custom equipment, and video cameras, Gottman and his colleagues have spent the past twenty years watching couples interacting and what happens as a result. In addition to watching the couples talk and communicate with each other, he's watching them fight, reaffirm their love for each other, and hash out problems constructively. The data he collects from these observations, as well as scientific data collected from heart rhythms, urine collection, and blood chemistry is all recorded into his computer. He refers to this scientific approach as performing a cat scan on a living relationship.

What Does Gottman's Research Reveal?

Gottman's discoveries point to one of many facts, including couples staying together are nice to each other more often than they are not. This is such a simple notion that, when combined with the rest of his fact based findings, relationship therapy could see drastic turns in the coming years. There are more surprising conclusions, including:

* Relationships shifting between blow-out arguments and romantic reconciliations are just as happy and experience as much longevity as those relationships where emotions are stable. Couples may even experience a more intimate and exciting relationship.

* Marriages where both people in the relationship repress their emotions are highly successful because they don't allow themselves to explode. While it's important to let the flood gates open, the last thing anyone wants to do is scare the person they're in a relationship with. Healthy expression is important.

* Despite what you might believe, couples complaining about each other right from the beginning of their relationship have longer lasting marriages compared to those who do not. Those who do not fight early into their relationship tend to end up in divorce, as odd as that might sound.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Gottman points out that fighting, whether frequently or infrequently, is healthy for relationships. For couples unsure how to fight without breaking down emotional flood gates, they should know that these skills CAN be learned. That way, healthy expression is taught and couples learn how to fight with each other.

Women love Gottmans findings that men doing housework are likely to have greater physical health, better sex lives, and happier marriages. This is an example of a man preventing his wife from becoming too over-emotional about house chores because he's helping out without fighting about it first.

Women Can Become Physically Ill

Another interesting fact is that women who are in a relationship with a man who is unexpressive can become physically sick. The symptoms are real and the woman actually is ill. This is an example of allowing emotions to flow, and learning how to do so in a way that is mutually beneficial to both people in the relationship. Men who are unsure how to stop being emotionally contemptuous can turn to a trained Gottman therapist to help learn these skills. That way, they can effectively express themselves and prevent their wives from becoming ill.

A little more about the woman in the relationship becoming physically ill - during a four-year period, Gottman's researchers can actually predict how many infections these women will suffer from. Now that's interesting! The science behind the body and how it physically reacts to emotion, as well as how that emotion has a direct impact on health is rarely discussed in a typical couple's therapy session.

Now that more therapists are utilizing Gottman's methods, though, that reality is changing. This is beneficial to couples who are looking for some help that goes beyond the warm and fuzzy "this is how to set your intentions" type of therapy. Gottman also encourages couples to discuss the backstory of their relationships, how it came to fruition, and their love story so therapists using his methods can predict what the next several years hold for them.

One thing Gottman continuously points out when discussing his points and research about emotionally charged relationships and opening the flood gates is not to stop fighting altogether. Instead, couples should find a fighting style that works.

Most couples don't realize there is a right way and a wrong way to fight. Even though the fight initially feels horrible during and for a period following, these arguments could lead to a longer lasting and healthier marriage. People, no matter who they are, are not always going to agree with each other no matter how compatible the relationship.

If you and your spouse have never learned the right way to fight, it's important to learn these skills. This is one of the key factors in developing a long and healthy relationship.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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