Where There Is A Will There Is A Way

Where There Is a Will There Is A Way

The truth is that we are living in our physical bodies and have “this” one life to live. We each can only take it one day at a time! Of course, I know that this is nothing new to you. In fact, its a philosophy you’ve heard dozens of times before; however, each day when you hear it once again, it holds a subtle nuance of meaning since we are never quite the same as we were the day before. We awaken each day in this gift called life. We are the individual creators who are granted a special freedom to make many decisions that shape us into who we are. Our thoughts and habits reflect what our core values and principles are.

Each day is the day that you actually get to live your life. Yes, you may certainly ponder about the past or take fancy into imagining what the future will look like; nevertheless, what you have right now is this moment called today. The beauty of this is that you may choose self empowerment to be and become the co-creator with your source.

We are all from our divine source. This is the source that will lead you to find your own answers. When you seek within yourself, you will find the will. Then once you do this, you will then find the way. It’s quite possible that your answers may arrive in ways that you may very least expect. Just keep remembering that for any given “why” a “how” will be had. Perhaps you already know just what I mean. I say this because if you really feel your heart moved to do something and know good reason for it, the “how” will find its way to you. It is the source of inspiration bubbling up from that inner foundation. It all begins with learning how to practice the Art of Self Love. Essentially this means that you trust yourself to act on your highest best interests and all good.

You may find yourself situated along a continuum that began at the dreadful place of self-neglect, or you become aware of the need to take self responsibility for yourself. As this continually unfolds, you soon learn the importance of self care. It is then ultimately when you are able to cultivate deep self love. Once you have this, you will notice the many changes occurring both in and around you. You may also experience a range of many surprising feelings that necessarily surface throughout this winding journey. These feelings may include sadness, frustration, fear, resentment, irritation, anger and/or grief. Knowing and processing these unpleasant emotions is part of the catharsis. It is an integral aspect so fundamental to your recovery and part of the transformational dance. As you step into your new way of being, your emerging self spontaneously forms to show you the way.

In order to master this process more effectively and better understand what is happening Melody Beattie’s classic work “Beyond Codependency” (1989) has set a precedent in conceptualizing this journey for “codependent” issues. She has normalized the experiential features and captures it with a 5 stage template that explains the process for learning how to genuinely honor your true self. In fact, the word co-dependent has expanded in many regards, and is used invariably well beyond its original definition. A while back I realized that we are all codependent in one way or another since we are constantly challenged to affirm ourselves by the people we love. This classification raises many patterns and cycles that take a lot of courage and dedication to sustain change. By coming to terms with and being able to commit to this, is the start of A New Life.

Beattie refers to the first stage of Survival/denial. This is when the individual simply uses whatever coping mechanisms they can find, even if they are self defeating. The individual oftentimes numbs themselves from their true feelings and does not allow their feelings to inform them. This is the typical, underlying hallmark of denial.

Secondly, Reidentification is the time when you are able to recognize that you cannot change anyone or their problems. You come to realize that it’s time to surrender to get off of that treadmill that keeps circling around in without results. There is oftentimes grief work to be done during this stage. It is commonplace that here you realize the importance of connecting back with yourself, and also your higher power.

Thirdly she refers to getting a grip on your Core issues. The theme during this stage is to take a full inventory of what has been happening and how it has insidiously permeated your life. You may experience the feelings that resemble a so called, stuck awareness and feel scared about the new self that is emerging. The good news here is that you are on the way to figuring out how to nourish and care for this new self of yours.

Fourth, she names this stage as a Reintegration. This is exactly what it sounds like it is; except there is an inherent paradox. The paradox is that the act of surrender and powerlessness will enable you to find your authentic personal power. It is a way of also learning that your true essence is complete, adequate and lovable. It is a common sense epiphany that enlightens us as we know that we cannot control others in spite of how much we may try to. Problem Solving skills also emerge as the new self emerges. Progress is occurring and the healing process towards wholeness is well underway.

Lastly she coins the stage of Genesis. This is the beginning of a new way of life that actually works well. It is a healthy Self Acceptance that consistently stabilizes you in its gentle constancy. Life becomes a fluid, liberating process that takes you on your way.

In closing, I hope that you may fully appreciate the ethos “Where There Is A Will There Is A Way”;Additionally, that Self Love is a process and not a destination. Knowing and practicing this leads to an integrity, self respect, peace and greater fulfilling relationships. After all, it is our relationships that offer us so much opportunity to find true joy in life by sharing it with others. Be kind to yourself on your journey. Working through co-dependency takes great will, enormous Self Love and a blend of personal strength, courage, hope and faith.