Who Are You Looking For?

Before you jump into the dating game, you should have some idea of what you are looking for in a potential partner. Knowing who you are and what you want in life is the first step in figuring out what qualities you desire in the people you date.

While no one will fit your list exactly, it is important that you figure out what things are essential to you in a partner and never compromise when it comes to those attributes. Take time to consider the following areas and determine what qualities you feel are necessary in a partner.

Personality:
A couple should be made up of two people with personalities that compliment each other. When two personalities balance each other out, a relationship is smoother. If you are a very indecisive person, matching up with someone that enjoys making decisions creates a good balance. If you are shy, you might want to think about being with someone that is outgoing. Take a look at your friends and use them as a model to decide what type of people you enjoy hanging out with. Do you prefer friends that are easy going or energetic. Do you like hanging out with quiet people or those who are more extroverted. When you think about your circle of friends, are you the leader of that circle or just one of the gang

Intelligence:
While few people would want to date someone that had a significantly lower level of intelligence, there are different types of intelligence and all of them should factor into your list of desirable qualities in a mate. People can be book smart, have common sense, or be very intuitive about other people. Are you more comfortable around analytical people? What level of education would you like a potential partner to have? Do you want the person you are with to be more or less educated than you are?

Spirituality:
Spirituality is more than just religion. Spirituality entails how a person lives up to what it is they believe. Religion is the way that you outwardly practice those inward spiritual beliefs. Spiritual and religious compatibility are very important things to consider when you are entering the dating world. Because a person's religion is such a defining entity, it is hard to mesh with someone that lives by a different set of spiritual standards. Even if you date someone within your faith, compatibility is not a guarantee. How often do you attend religious services? Do you agree with and follow all the principles of the religion you profess? Are there aspects of your faith that you question? Understanding your own spirituality will help you determine the level of spirituality you require in the person you would like to be with.

Character:
Character is who a person is when no one is looking. It is so important to look for someone that is committed, honest, and kind. What character traits do you value in your friends? You can ascertain a lot about the type of partner someone will be, based on the way that they live their everyday life. Someone that would lie to a client might find it just as easy to lie to their spouse. Someone that is mean to a friend or family member could end up being mean to you. Look for someone that shows integrity in every area of their life.

Appearance:
Appearance is more than just whether a person is physically attractive. Looks do fade, so a relationship that is based solely on physical attraction is doomed to fail. While you can't base everything on how a person looks, it is important that you are attracted to the person you are with. What physical attributes are important to you? How willing are you to compromise if you meet a person that is a great match for you in every other way? Some aspects of a person's appearance that are important to consider are whether or not that person matches the standards you set for your own appearance. Do you like to dress up? If you are not into wearing casual clothes, you might not be compatible with someone that never puts on a suit or dress. What are your standards of cleanliness? If you are a man, how much make up do you like the woman you are with to wear? If you are a woman, do you like facial hair? While those things seem trivial, they can create compatibility issues.

Life Application

1. Using the five areas mentioned above, make a list of the things that are important to you in a potential partner. Once you have completed that list, read over it and rank each item on your list in order of importance. Remember, no one will be a perfect match to your list, so it is important to know what things you will not compromise on.

2. After you have made and ranked your list, read over it and compare your own attributes to those you desire. Make a commitment to live your life as a person who compliments the person you are looking for. You want to have a partner with integrity, so cultivate integrity in your own life. If your list said that you want someone that is kind, practice being kind to the people that you deal with everyday. It will be easier to find a person that matches your list when you are exemplifying the traits you listed. Happy Dating!

Sincerely,
Violet Lim
www.eteract.com