When I first went through a break up for the first time in my early twenties, I couldn’t believe how much it hurt! I didn’t believe that something could hurt that much (short of being impaled by a pole).

But why do they hurt so much?

Well, break ups hurt so much because of the intense feelings of rejection that are associated with them.

When you think about it, you and your partner were probably very close, right? In many cases your partner is the closest relationship you have.

But when you let someone get so close to you emotionally, it can sting extra hard when that person then rejects you. It’s like tell you that despite the fact that you though they would love you, you just didn’t measure up and they rejected you knowing everything about you.

That can be very harsh.

It might even be enough to make you try to do things to validate yourself to your ex. Maybe you’ll try to prove to your ex that you are indeed a lovable person by going out and dating other people to make your ex jealous.

This is common thing that people do, but if your goal is to save your relationship, you really should do this. First of all, dating other people will send a message to your ex that you are moving on, and if you’re moving on, they should too.

Plus, things that involve jealousy are only going to spawn petty emotions and negative feelings. Generally, these are not what brings people together and makes them fall in love.

What you need to know is that even though you might be feeling strong feelings of rejection from the break up, you still have the power to focus your mind on what you want and find your own happiness.

You see, even if your ex rejected you, you don’t have to accept that rejection. You can still enjoy your own life and find things to be grateful for or happy about in your life.

Every moment, you can choose to focus your mind on what you want or what you don’t want. Whenever you focus on what you don’t want, you’ll feel bad, and when you focus on what you do want, you’ll feel good.

You can choose to feel good no matter what your ex does or says by simply focusing your mind on the positive things in your life.

Author's Bio: 

What if you just can't get them back?

I know how hard it can be to try and make an ex understand just how special your love was, but if you want to really make them love you again, you'll need to learn a few things that work amazingly well.

This method is simple to pick up and it doesn't take much practice, you can read how to do it here: How to Deal with Heartbreak.

Don't give up hope, it's NOT impossible. Learn more ways to use No Contact to get your ex back by clicking the link.