Why He Closes Off After the Break Up
Written by Clay Andrews
So you and your boyfriend broke up. That’s a difficult thing to deal with. After a break up it’s not uncommon to have your mind flooded with all sorts of unanswered questions that you’re just yearning to get answered.
Things like why he left, what you did wrong, why he doesn’t want to work things out, etc.
But why would he just pull away so much when you have all of these questions? Why won’t he take the time to really explain what happened and what’s going on in his mind to you?
Well, here I’d like to explain the biggest reason why guys pull back after a break up.
It’s because, you have to understand the main reason why all relationships break up. It’s because one person in the relationship wants space away from the other person or from the relationship itself.
Isn’t that really why he broke up with you? Wasn’t it because he wanted space away from either you or the relationship?
Well, if that’s the case, when you keep asking him questions, trying to get closure, or otherwise reaching out to him, it really isn’t respecting his request for space.
In fact it’s quite the opposite.
This makes him feel that you don’t really understand his need for space, and he feels like he has to keep pulling away even more from you to get that space. If you don’t give him this space, he’ll just keep pulling away until he’s completely out of your life for good.
So, if you have any interest at all in saving your relationship, keeping him as a friend, or remaining in contact in any way, I would strongly suggest you give him the space he is asking for.
I know it’s hard when you have all those questions in your mind, but for the time being, you’ll just have to let those questions stay there. You might be able to get the answers you want from him later, but for now find a way to go on without them.
For now, focus on your own life instead. Take time to do things that make you happy and that you enjoy. These will help you feel good about life despite the break up and they will make healing a lot easier on you as well.
Once you’ve had the time to heal from the break up and you’ve given your ex boyfriend a little bit of time to get that space he wants, you can try reopening the lines of communication between the two of you.
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