Why Is Divorce So Hard?

We have all heard horror stories about divorce: there is the co-worker whose ex ‘got everything’ in the divorce, including $1200.00 a month alimony for the next seven years; there is the neighbor who lost custody of her nine-year-old son; and who can forget the third cousin, whose divorce is still ongoing, two and half years after it was filed.

Do you ever wonder why divorce is so hard??? I do. And I have contemplated the reasoning behind it.

Do you want to avoid having such a hard divorce??? I do and I am sure you do to. If you do want to avoid having a hard divorce, then take my advice and keep reading this article. Below are four reasons why divorce is so hard. My hope is that you will read the four reasons and become familiar with them. By becoming familiar with them, who knows, maybe will be able to avoid some of the pitfalls, which in turn will simplify the divorce process.

Reason Number One: Lousy Lawyering. Sorry lawyers, but the cold harsh reality of the lawyer profession is that it is no different than any other profession (ie, there are good lawyers and there are lousy lawyers). Unfortunately in the world of divorce, there are a lot of lawyers who focus their practice on a different areas of law, but who take divorce cases on occasion on the side in order to help pay their bills.

Reason Number Two: Lousy Ex’s. Unfortunately there is only so much that the Court System can do to remedy the rift between you and your ex. If your ex is one of those super obnoxious ‘it’s my way or the high way types’, then your ex could potentially drag the divorce case out for a very long time.

Reason Number Three: The Adversarial System. Unfortunately, divorce court is set up in a way that pits spouse against spouse and attorney against attorney. In that kind of adversarial environment, the natural tendency of the spouses and the attorneys is to engage in ‘battle’. When the natural tendency is to engage in ‘battle’, the feelings of amicability that are necessary in order to reach a settlement are missing.

Reason Number Four: Lack Of Flexibility Of The Court System. The Court System does not care about your work schedule and it does not care if you are feeling ill. Whenever the Court (ie, the judge) schedules your next court appearance, you have to be present that in court that day. If you are not present, then the judge could rule in favor of your ex on a significant issue.