Why Is Everyone Blissfully Happy, But Me?

A gorgeous summer day – still in bed, you prop yourself up on your elbows and muster just enough energy to gaze out the window. You see a flourish of activity; people are outdoors jogging, bicycle riding, and heading to a picnic. However, you don’t have the energy. Somehow you feel pressured to have fun. Perhaps, you would have preferred it to be a rainy day giving you an excuse to stay home and cocoon, equalize the playing field. Recognizing and assuming responsibility for feeling unhappy is an upsetting step in its own right – but it’s necessary to stir up the pot to see what’s in it. First, it’s time to stop comparing yourself to all those seemingly happy, frolicking fellow humans. Many of these people are probably "living lives of quiet desperation. " We are always distracting ourselves by scanning for new opportunities and new people to give ourselves an adrenalin surge. It is like dancing and looking over our date’s shoulder to catch the eye of someone better. However, we become over-stimulated by so many things vying for our attention. As a result we shut down, coming to a grinding halt; we stop focusing on what we already possess. Most initial excitement eventually becomes routine and routine has received a bad rap. Try to put some effort into revitalizing your routine because its structure will help you know where to focus your attention. If you want to sustain a reasonable happiness, you need specific images in your head. Vaguely wishing for love to enter your life, the universe might just send you a pet. Inspire yourself to take specific constructive actions. Don’t feel like going outside yet? Get dressed and sit by the window. Open it and let the smell and sounds activate your senses. Take Back Your Power Take care of your things – yourself! This means doing your own housework, washing the windows, cleaning your car, painting a room, gardening and cooking. Give your full attention to doing all the basics and when you wash the floor, just wash your floor: don’t think about anything else. For example, when my mother had Alzheimer’s disease and I felt a bit overwhelmed with working outside the home, taking care of my children and household, I found relief in washing the dishes even though I had a dishwasher. Washing each plate with warm soapy water made me feel like I was cleaning out my sadness. I thought of nothing else. Afterwards I freely played with my children and laughed with my husband. A series of small, ordinary actions can bring you closer to contentment like placing one foot in front of the other, walking out the door and into a beautiful summer day. * To paraphrase Seneca you are as miserable as you think you are. Expose the thoughts that trigger unhappiness; choose to perceive and appreciate good elements in your life. * Give your fullest attention to whatever you do, and don’t think about what’s coming up later. Use this time as a moving meditation. * Shut down your internal taskmaster that demands that you live an idealized life. Look to simple pleasures and sustainable actions. The secret to happiness is getting started.