Why setting New Year Resolutions is a Really Bad Idea

The year 2012 in almost ending, as the holiday season knocks on our door. It’s time to be around the family and enjoy some quality time together. But it’s also a great time to review the main events of the passing year and think about what’s coming up for 2013.

Out with the Old and in with the New

A new year means a new chance. It marks the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one in our lives. If the last year was not as good as expected, than the new one will break the bad luck. It’s out with the old and in with the new!

So it’s no surprise then that many people set ambitious goals for the year to come. You get to hear promises like:

Next year I’ll quit smoking

Next year I’ll lose weight

Next year I’ll start working out more

Next year I’ll dedicate more time to the things I love

Next year I’ll travel around the world

The basic underlying idea is: Next year I’ll do everything I’ve been postponing or failing to achieve this year.

New Year’s Eve is a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with your true self and your desires. You get to uncover some of the things you have been hiding deep down. And you have the inspiration to finally change for the better. You believe you can do it, because you are given a new chance.

But why do most of the New Year Resolutions never get accomplished?

There are several reasons for that. I have listed below the most common ones. Becoming aware of these mistakes will help you avoid them from now on.

1. The goal is not actually yours

Are you sure that what you desire is not in fact what your beloved ones desire for you?

You may believe you want to accomplish this and that, but before formulating any resolutions, please take a moment to think if it’s actually your desire too.

Why do you want it? Is it because you think you should have it? Did someone else suggest to you that it would be a good idea? Does everyone else have it, making you wish to conform?

As long as you have been influenced by others and “your wish” is not really yours, then you virtually reduce your chances of accomplishing it down to zero. How can you possibly get something which you don’t really want?

This is also commonly met in the case of health and fitness goals. People who claim they want to lose weight or quit smoking rarely succeed, because most of the time they do it being influenced by someone else’s opinion.

“Smoking or being overweight is bad for your health, therefore you should not be doing it”. Having heard that, many think it’s their desire to quit smoking, when in fact it isn't. It’s just something they think they should be doing.

2. You are not ready for your goal

Several years ago around New Year, I have been introduced to a powerful concept. It has changed they in which way I approach my plans for the coming year and dramatically improved my results.

The idea is that when pursuing their goals most of the people follow the following pattern:

Have –> Do –> Be

They wish to GET something (i.e. more money), so that they can DO what they always dreamed of (i.e. travel around the world) and in the end BE who they want to (i.e. a free person).

This pattern can be applied to most of the goals and intentions people have. And it’s also the one which leads to bitter failure. Why? Because you are simply unable to draw into your life something which you do not resonate with, in order to become the person you want to be. That’s just not the way things work.

A much better approach is the reversed one:

Be –> Do –> Have

All changes must come from within first, in order to create any corresponding effects on the outside. So, in order to travel around the world and get the necessary money, you’ll have to become first of all a free person. Otherwise, even if you do get some money, you will probably use it for something other than travelling anyway.

Your focus should first be on becoming the person you would be once you have obtained your goal. How would the new you think, speak and behave? A great tool to help you with this transformation are affirmations and you can read the article series on my blog for more details.

Once you become the new person you want to be, everything else can’t help but fall into place. You will then effortlessly bring into your life any event or resource you need to sustain and encourage you in being more of who you already are.

3. Your Resolutions are poorly formulated

Believe it or not, the most successful resolutions are not the very specific ones. One of the least effective things you can do is set SMART goals.

The reason is simple: most of them will never be achieved when and how you want to. One of the explanations is that you are not yet ready for them and another one is the time limit, which is usually too small. Most people will feel like failures when their deadline passes and they haven’t yet gotten what they wanted. Many can give up trying altogether.

This is why I really discourage formulating any resolutions and suggest adopting a different approach. I have been using it for about 4 years now (2013 would be the fifth) and it has produced spectacular results on a consistent basis. It’s tried and true.

Instead of resolutions, formulate a direction or motto for next year. Choose just one specific word, which contains everything you want to achieve and let it be the guideline for the entire year.

I’ll give you my personal examples so far: 2009 – balance; 2010 – wisdom; 2011 – success; 2012 – change. I have made a review after each of these years and got much better results than I would have if I had simply formulated goals.

Using this approach also leaves you open for new opportunities and even changes of plans. Chances are that you will get even better ways of accomplishing your resolutions than before.