Why Women Choose Guys They Say They Don't Want

Ever wondered why women choose guys who seem uncaring or cruel? For example, have you ever listened to a woman tell you all the things she wants in a guy -- all of which you seem to have -- but then she still goes for the jerk?

Why would she say she wants one thing, then go for the complete opposite?

Is she just too dumb to realize what she's actually doing... or was she lying?

Neither, actually.

If this question has ever bothered you, within the next few minutes, it no longer will. You'll understand why women choose guys who they seem to say they don't want.

The secret to understanding this seemingly odd mystery is to first realize that women leave a large portion of their 'ideal guy' OUT of their descriptions.

And without being aware of that missing part of their description, NONE of the stuff they do say they want in guys count for anything. Why women get together with guys they say they don't want is because he fits that missing part.

So what is this missing part of the description? And why do women leave it out?

The Reason Women Omit the Missing Description

Imagine for a moment that a fat chick asks you for a description of your 'ideal woman'. How do you respond? What do you say?

Naturally, us guys want larger breasted women with a fit and otherwise well proportioned figure. This is obvious to all men. We all understand this.

It's a given. There's no need for discussion on this topic, right?

But would you even consider mentioning it to this fat chick? Would it be a part of your description? Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps you wouldn't want to give her a reason to feel bad and blame you for it. But if you did, it would likely be more of a conclusion -- a tag on.

"I want a chick who has personality. She has to have a great sense of humor and be out-going and fun to be around. She has to be smart and enjoy learning. She has to be responsible," along with a dozen other traits. "Oh, and looks of course."

Now imagine this fat chick had all of these things -- aside from the looks, obviously. Would you want her? No way! Yet if you look at the description you gave, what determines your decision is in one short non-descriptive sentence and it's at the very BOTTOM of your list... where it has the LEAST impact on our obese inquisitive chick.

This means all the stuff ahead of it are just filler really. These are things you look for in a long-term relationship -- assuming a woman first meets your standards.

Obvious. No need for discussion. You get it, but the fat chick doesn't.

Why? Since it's small and at the bottom, she assumes it's not that important. After all, why would you include it last if it was crucial?

Women operate in a similar way. The missing part of their description are so obvious that they feel no need to really mention or explain it. And if they do, it too, is short and given little attention.

Because it's standard to them -- as looks are to us -- they assume it's common knowledge to everyone.

Ask a hot woman what she wants in a guy, and she'll probably say something like this...

"I want a man with a great sense of humor. He has to be caring and nice, and treat me with respect. He has to be a good listener," along with an even longer list. "Oh, and of course, he has to know what he wants," she adds as a sidenote conclusion.

Within that sidenote lies the answer to why women get together with guys who may not be good for them personally.

Found! The Missing Description

So just what is so important in a woman's description of her 'ideal guy' that she omits, and why is it also the reason why women choose guys who may be seen as not worthy of them?

And just what exactly does it mean to know what you want, anyway?

There is no short answer to this question. Yet, most times, it gets so little attention from women when they describe their ideal guy. No wonder there's a good reason why women get together with guys who can be abusive, instead of going for the guy who has everything ELSE in her description.

They have THAT something, negative traits aside.

Just as that fat chick, looking at the bulk of your description and neglecting the all important final tag, will remain confused about how to get men (by losing weight), we have to understand exactly what women's final tag means.

The focus of my blog, the Cool Guy Chronicles, is an ongoing revelation of what it means to know what you want.

But, in short, it means you have these qualities within your character...

Strong Sense of Identity. This means having a clear picture of who you are, and includes not looking to anyone else for approval or permission for your choices and behavior.

Aggressive. This means, more than anything, having the ability to take risks and go for exactly what you want -- without hesitation.

Demand Respect. This means you know how you expect other people to treat you and you let others know when they don't treat you accordingly.

Why women choose men who can be the 'scum' of the world -- they can be abusive, physically and emotionally -- is because they have these qualities. They can still have a strong sense of who they are, make choices quickly, and also let women know when they cross a line with him, even if his methods are violent at the same time.

And these qualities outweigh everything else a woman says she wants. Whenever a woman talks about what she wants in a man, everything she says are in ADDITION to him knowing what he wants in Life.

To them, it's a given.

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Article © 2007, Jay Julio