Why Is Love Blind On Valentine’s Day?

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
"the marriage doctors"

Award Winning Authors of the NEW Hardback Book
Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage ©2008

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The phrase, “Love is Blind,” most likely originated in the Shakespeare play, the Merchant of Venice. In the play the character Jessica says the following:

“I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me,
For I am much ashamed of my exchange:
But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush
To see me thus transformed to a boy.”

And now it seems, science has proved that Shakespeare had it right! Love is, indeed, blind.
Scientists at University College London reported in the journal, NeuroImage, that romantic love suppresses “neural activity associated with critical social assessment of other people and negative emotions.” It seems that once we get close to another person --once we fall in love with them – our brain has a reduced need to assess their character and to harbor negative emotions towards them. Our love for them is blind. It is love we feel. It is not love we see.

It is our profound belief that the notion of “love is blind” has much merit. It is nature’s way of allowing us to express our love for another person because we feel that love for them in our heart and in our soul. Our feelings of love are unconditional at the point we express them. Romantic love is often blind, but that is not a bad thing.

Here is our twist on this intriguing notion. When you kiss someone you love in a romantic way, do you keep your eyes open or shut? Our bet – you close your eyes. Isn’t this the essence of “love is blind?” You do not have to see the one you love to know you love them. You accept it on blind faith. And you kiss them without fear, without any sense of danger. You love them, if you will, blindly.

Over the years, we have interviewed hundreds of couples who were in love. We have found many, many common characteristics that were pervasive throughout these loving relationships. Most notably, however, those in love, those truly in love, had love that transcended anything you could see or touch with your hand. Their love was love based on trust. Their love was unconditional love. Their love if you will was love based on feelings that were heart-felt. Their love was so strong and so deep, it had become blind love.

On Valentine’s Day this year, it is okay to express your love openly, freely, unequivocally, honestly, and yes, blindly. What you feel in your heart does not need eyes to see.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can order the Doctors' new book entitled , Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage at Amazon.com or from their website with FREE Images of Love DVD. With 25 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 41-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories.

Get started with “the marriage doctors” by taking their Marriage Quiz or asking them a question at Ask The Marriage Doctors or downloading their FREE eBook at Salad Recipes For Love and Health.

During their distinguished careers the Doctors have received some 60 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 200 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1000 speeches, workshops and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC.