Will Marriage Counseling Help My Marriage?

There are so many factors that go into keeping a marriage alive that it is impossible to give a simple answer to that question. In a nutshell, if both you and your spouse are willing to give marriage counseling an honest try and if you are both committed to fixing the problems that exist between you, then it is likely that it will help. However, if that is not the case, it is unlikely that anything will help. There are things that you can do to improve the chances of marriage counseling being successful for your relationship.

Be Honest

This means you must be honest with yourself and your spouse. Make sure that you understand what you feel and why you feel it before you go see the counselor. If you do not know what you want, it will be very hard to tell your spouse about it. Then you must be willing to tell your spouse exactly what you are feeling and, if you know, why you are feeling that way. Do not water down the truth to protect their feelings. This will not solve anything.

Be Involved, In And Out Of the Counselor's Office

When you are at a counseling session, pay attention to what your spouse and the counselor say and answer any questions as completely and honestly as you can. Often times, marriage counselors will assign you projects to do on your own. Make sure you do these even if they seem pointless at the time. They are designed to help you to open up and find a way to get closer to your spouse. Although you may not see the benefits immediately, if you take them seriously, they should pay off in time.

Believe In Success

Adopting a positive attitude about the process can make a huge difference. If you believe that the counseling will work then there is a good chance that it will. If you do not believe in it and are simply going through the motions to keep your spouse off your back then you should expect failure.

Counseling Does Not Guarantee Success

Even if you go into counseling with the best intentions, it may still fail. Some relationships just do not succeed. Some reasons for this include:

• Your spouse is not taking the process seriously and is not willing to do the work necessary.

• Your spouse is not really interested in saving the marriage.

• The problems mostly center on things that you either cannot or are not willing to change.