Before you even begin thinking about winning back the ex there are a few things you need to know. If you don't know these things and know them without a hint of doubt then there's really no need to win her back. You'll just find yourself in a similar situation down the road.

What are these three things that can have such an impact on whether or not you'll be successful at getting your ex back?

1) Why did it end? You must know why the relationship ended. Relationships end because someone is unhappy. That's the symptom and often the obvious part. But it's only scratching the surface. You have to dig down deep and find out the real reason for the disconnection and discontentment in the relationship. Does she feel unappreciated? Does he feel disrespected? Do you nag? Do you listen to your mother to the point of causing tension between the two of you? You can't fix the problem unless you know what it really is. Dig down deep and get these answers.

2) Why do you want to work things out? Winning back the ex shouldn't be about being the one to leave or rubbing a balm over wounded pride. You need to have a very good reason for wanting to get your ex back. If it's a whirlwind romance there may not be a lot there worth saving. If you've been married for 20 years, have children together, or have enjoyed a long-term committed relationship you might find that there are plenty of reasons worth saving the relationship. Whatever reasons you find they must be your own reasons and they need to be good enough to risk your heart and your pride in the process of trying to win your ex back in the first place.

3) How far are you willing to go to win your ex back? As far as it takes could be pretty far. You might have to try some rather unusual thinking outside the box maneuvers to get your ex back. The most likely thing you're going to have to be willing to do is change. This is going to be a more significant change than giving up your smelly old recliner from college. It's a deeper change of personality that might be a bit more painful but has the tendency to be so much more rewarding. You need to know if there is a line in the sand that you aren't willing to cross in order to get your ex back and where that line is.

There are many reasons and ways for winning back the ex. When the time comes make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and not simply for the sake of winning.

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