You are as Old as You Feel

Being the oldest child in my family, I feel I have never been young. No matter how young I am, my siblings are always younger. My mom has never forgotten to remind me how old I have been on my birthdays and expected me to be everyone’s big sister. At 10, I felt old. At 20, I felt old. This feeling has been with me all these years. In this blog, I do not intent to discuss the struggles of being the oldest child (for the good part, a study does find the first-born children are smarter because their parents are hard on them). Rather, I want to focus on the feeling of being old and its outcomes.

Thinking back, if I had not considered myself “old,” I probably would not have been so concerned about how I could make a living when I grow up at the age of 10, would not have worried about whether my skirt was too short in my early 20s, would not have cried over losing youth when I reached 30. I am sure being the oldest child is not the only trigger that makes people feel old. Numerous other things give us a sign that we are getting older–when someone says “You sounds like my mom,” when you spot your first grey hair, when you see school kids using a smartphone, just to name a few.

Old age is usually perceived as linked to cognitive and physical decline. In fact, negative perception of old age starts around 6 years of age. The views of old age are unconscious and influence a variety of behaviors congruent with those views. There is evidence that the self-perception of age can be a better predictors of feelings, attitudes and behaviors than the chronical age. As a result of feeling old, we carry more pity and sorrow with us, making our steps heavier and more taxing as we explore the journey ahead.

A study published in Perspectives on Psychological Science shows that “when a younger mind is primed, a younger body can accompany it.” For example, women who believed they looked younger after having their hair colored or cut showed a decrease in blood pressure and were rated as younger by independent raters who looked at their pictures (in which their hair is cropped out) compared with women who felt the same age or older. The investigators argue that self-perceptions of aging influence physiological outcomes.

Older individuals who view themselves as younger than their actual chronical ages tend to be overall healthier, as reflected by a sharper memory, lower change of debilitating fall, and a lower rate of hospitalizations. Levy and his associates observed that, among 660 individuals aged 50 and older and living in a community-based dwelling, those with more positive self-perceptions of aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those with less positive self-perceptions of aging.

Based on my own experience, one can feel old despite his/her actual age. We are as old as we feel. When we feel old and weak, we act like we are old and weak. Life doesn’t have to be like that. As my next birthday is coming soon, I will tell my mom please forget my age. Birthday is not a reminder of getting older; it is a signal of a new start.

I remember once I went to CVS to buy a cold medicine and the cashier needed to know my age as it is a requirement when selling that medicine. I told him I was 26 (without showing him my ID) and he looked at me and smiled, “you look young for your age. “ That really made my day because I just turned 32 on that day. I may not always have the young look, but I will try to think positive and love everyday as I am aging.

References

Isaacs, L., & Bearison, D. The development of children’s prejudice against the aged. International Journal of Aging and Human Development. 1985; 23: 175-194.

Hsu LM, Chung J, Langer EJ. The influence of age-related cues on health and longevity. Perspectives on Psychological Science. 2010;5: 632-648.

Levy BC, Slade D, Kunkel SR, Kasl AV. Longevity increased by positive self-perceptions of aging. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2002; 83:261–70.

Levy BC, Slade D, Kasl AV. Longitudinal benefit of positive self-perceptions of aging on functional health. The Journals of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences. 2002;57: 409–417.