Ever been stuck in a situation or a problem but not known how to get out of it? Life throws us lots of different hurdles and hiccups along the way and people disappoint us and we disappoint ourselves. But our biggest mistake is not when we first make that mistake, because our past can determine who we are today. That can be what makes us grow into our true characters and help us find and define our strength. But the biggest mistake I believe we can make is our failure to learn from them and our failure to let go of the past.

Too many people get swallowed by their problems because they never learnt how to move on. Or perhaps they never wanted to. It is easy to not want the problems but never want to deal with them either. But that becomes a vicious circle that has no end unless you choose to step up and make a change. One of the most if not the very most important factors in moving on and finding a new spark is your thoughts. Your view, your perspective and your mindset it is the key to bringing change.

As Albert Einstein stated–
“You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created the problem.”

When it comes to Divorce or a situation of breakup or any kind of trauma, moving on can be words that pierce your heart, that seems unimaginable and you cannot see to be possible. Being “positive” is laughable because you can’t find one reason to be positive But even when you feel like you don’t have an ounce of strength in you, that is exactly when your strength is being refined to being stronger than before, not to be bitter but to be stronger and to move on in the correct and healthy ways. The truth is there are always things to be positive about, whether big or small positivity can be found but to be found it must first have someone looking for it, wanting to find it.

A shift in your mindset can take leaps and bounds. Sometimes you need to take a step back or even completely remove yourself from the situation you’re in, In order to see it in a different way. Sometimes we get so caught up in our situations that we can’t see out or any other possible way of viewing it because sometimes we haven’t tried. Or sometimes we have just been in such a place for so long that we’ve become stagnant and our optimism and creativity is dormant. This happens to so many people in all different situations in life but it’s a dangerous place to stay. If you don’t challenge yourself to find a way out of your thinking you will never see the amazing opportunities and next adventures that sit and wait for you when you do.


If a way of thinking has not been working for you then that’s a great indication to explore a new way of thinking, Create space for yourself, step back and allow yourself to see the bigger picture, allow yourself to see positivity because if you do you will most surely find it. What we put our focus on is what we will see. So instead of focusing on the problem focus on what you can get out of it and what opportunity it may be giving you to grow and find a new start.

A Fantastic quote by Eckhart Tolle states, If you put your thoughts on what always has been – whatever has been will always show up in your life.

So Instead put your thoughts and your focus on the future, on good things, and begin to search for the positives because there is no excuse for not finding them. Traumatic times will come in those times we need to nurture our hearts and allow room to heal but when it’s time to move on you need to get up and look for the new positives, there are plenty out there waiting for you to just turn your shoulder to it.

Till next time!

Lots of hugs,

Author's Bio: 

Adèle Théron – Author, Change specialist, Family Mediator and Divorce Angel – has an 11 year career in helping people cope with change. She started off in the corporate world helping people adapt to new situations and experiences created by mergers, acquisitions and large software implementations. The change techniques she created have helped thousands of people in 18 global companies worldwide. When she herself experienced a divorce in 2009, she realised that no structured processes existed to help people cope with divorce and she used her change management techniques to develop a revolutionary systemized process called the naked divorce for healing from divorce within 21 steps. Adèle has worked with professional men, women and couples as a family mediator, divorce coach and divorce program trainer, helping people heal from break ups, separations and divorce. Today countless people depend on her process to help them heal from divorce. www.nakeddivorce.com