Congratulations! You have just been born! Happy birthday!
If I am correct, and I’m pretty sure that I am, you did not get to choose your parents.
You did not get to choose into what country you were born.
You did not get to choose your sex.
You did not get to choose what you look like.

Furthermore, now that you are here on Planet Earth, you don’t get to choose the religion, if any, you’ll be taught. At least while you’re a baby, and as you grow.
You don’t get to choose whether you have siblings, or how many, if you do.
You don’t get to choose where you live, whether it will be in a peaceful, or chaotic place. You don’t get to choose whether you eat with a fork, or your hands.
You don’t get to choose whether you’ll be abused, or loved unconditionally.
In this and more, you do not have a choice. Neither does anyone else.

So now that you’re born, through no choice of your own, someone comes along.
They don’t like that you’re female; that you have brown eyes; that you’re not
attractive. Maybe you’re too dark, or maybe you’re too white. No matter, your skin color doesn’t meet with their approval.

But what can you do? You didn’t have a choice. You were just born. Just like them. Yet, they get to judge you, hate you, hurt you because they don’t approve. Why? Hmmm. I’m not getting this.

What if you, the woman with the brown eyes, doesn’t like the tall man with the blue eyes, and red hair. What if you, the woman with the brown eyes, judge, hate, and hurt him because he was just born, through no choice of his own. He didn’t get to choose how tall he’d be, or whether he’d have clear skin, or freckles all over his face. But you don’t like that he does, so it’s OK. Judge him, hate him, and hurt him.

Does that make sense to you? To any of you?

We, none of us, had a choice in how we came to be here.

We, none of us, have the right to judge.

We don’t have the right to hurt, hate, or disapprove of someone for something over which they have no control.

The day we were born, we didn’t have control. Today we still don’t.

Look at yourself in the mirror! What if someone judged you, hurt you, and wanted to get rid of you because your look didn’t sit right with them? It’s pure insanity!

Observe the birds. Do they attack each other because their feathered friends are too yellow, or too loud, or have the wrong wingspan? No! Clearly, they get along just fine. There’s enough room in the skies, on the trees, for them all.

There’s more than enough room on the planet for us all.

Be you! Allow others to be Themselves. Don’t concern yourself with someone who doesn’t concern you.

You didn’t get to choose. And neither did they.

Stop the judgment. That you can choose. And if we all did that, we’d find heaven here on earth!

Author's Bio: 

Rossana Snee is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She has worked with individuals, couples, and families. Her present focus is providing counseling services during daily Periscope broadcasts (@askjoshsmom), and weekly tips on dealing with relationship and life issues on PeriGirlsTV, “Your Weekly Tips,” Tuesdays at 9:00 a.m. PST.

Visit her at,, Twitter (@askjoshsmom), and Instagram (@askjoshsmom). She endeavors to inspire and motivate, and to be a springboard for her reader's self-growth.