Rule #361 - No wet sponges to be left in the sink
Rule #773 - All jars must face the same way
Rule #978 - Everything must always be done 110%
Are there any perfectionists out there? Or am I the only one?
If you're mentally totting up your own personal rules, then you probably are one!
Living with perfectionism is tough because nothing is ever really good enough. Even when something wonderful happens, there's a niggling feeling that you didn't deserve it.
I didn't even think I deserved the title of perfectionist because I wasn't perfect! Not even close.
How many times have you received a compliment about a job well done and replied with
Thanks, but...
... there was a mistake
... it wasn't perfect, but maybe next time
... it wasn't that good
It can completely ruin the satisfaction of the moment and sets you up for a lifetime of disappointment and frustration.
Acknowledge your success
The first step in curing chronic perfectionism is to acknowledge your own successes. When is the last time you gave yourself a metaphorical "pat on the back"?
List 5 things in your life that you are proud of. Ignore any niggling thoughts of "it could have been better" and give the praise you probably denied yourself at the time.
Extreme perfectionism is really just self-criticism in disguise and only serves to make us feel bad about ourselves. High achievers in particular can get caught up in wanting everything done right and causing themselves and the people around them constant anxiety and stress.
Being a perfectionist in our diet can lead to misery, boredom and even serious eating disorders.
Being a perfectionist with your family and partner teaches them that they are not good enough to please you.
Being a perfectionist boss means that your employees are afraid to experiment because things won't be done "your way".
By far, the most dangerous side effect is that perfectionists punish themselves constantly. Do you avoid achieving your dreams because you are not perfect...yet? What are you waiting for? You could wait forever.
Are you waiting to buy nice clothes or get your hair done until you're at a "perfect weight"?
Do you put off decorating your house beautifully because it's not your "perfect house"?
Are you procrastinating sending that book proposal because it's not perfect?
Even though I became a life coach to help other people achieve their goals, I no longer feel like I have to be perfect in my own life. I love being a role model but I'm also a real person. I've learnt to forgive myself instantly for any mistakes I make and to feel genuine pride when I do a good job.
My philosophy on success is simple - you have to start somewhere. Baby steps will take you where you need to go, but if you wait for the stars to align or for your personality to fundamentally change, then you'll constantly be paralysed in limbo.
You don't have to be perfect to get amazing results in your life. The more you work towards your dreams, the better of course - but you don't have to get it right all the time.
Still not convinced? Well, I'm here to reassure you. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be 100% ANYTHING except happy with yourself and the daily choices you make. By the way, I think you're FABULOUS!
Denise Duffield-Thomas is a life coach and author of The Inspired Life Formula.
Download a free copy of her guide "The 7 Fabulous Ways to Manifest Your Wildest Dreams" at www.deniseduffieldthomas.com
Post new comment
Please Register or Login to post new comment.