You’ve said “I Do”, now say, “I Will…”

When people ask for marital advice and what the keys are to a happy marriage, psychologists and advice columnists alike will tell you the same things. Although the list is endless, you can be sure that "communication", "mutual respect", "compromise" and "trust" will be in the top ten. While these are all true, there are 4 little words that will invariably make, and keep, a marriage strong. "Honey, I'll do it." I just recently had my 4th child with my second husband of only a year. He has never had children, and being that I'm forty this time around, I predicted a bit of a rocky road in our future. How is he going to like having a newbo
around after expecting it to be just the two of us? How am I going to be at juggling the schedule of 3 teenagers, a new baby, and make sure that my husband has his needs met (perhaps that would be a different article entirely...).

After baby girl Hailey got here, things went smoothly, as dad had the first 2 weeks off of work on pate
ity leave. After that, our agreement was that on the days he had to work, I would get up in the middle of the night and feed the baby. As any new parent knows, this leads to very little unbroken sleep. I was okay for the first few weeks due to the newness of it all, but I admit, I started getting cranky after awhile. Now, there are two ways this could have gone. My husband could have re-acted poorly to my sour attitude and taken it personally, or he could have taken the approach that he did. One night about 2 a.m., I hear the baby crying and slowly start to search for the eye drops to re-wet my contacts. I found them quickly, and I know this because in my haste, I knocked them onto the floor. I'm not sure how loud the, "Oh, man!" was that came out of my mouth, but it woke my husband up. What I heard next was music to my ears. "Honey, I will feed her, go back to bed." I was thrilled at the gesture and as I prepared for my journey back into dreamland, I quickly realized that his unanticipated actions made me feel overwhelmed with love, happiness, and thankfulness.

Ever since then, I have been making sure that I go above and beyond for him. I know now that doing the little *extra* things for your spouse makes you feel great, especially if it is appreciated and reciprocated. When couples take this approach on a daily basis, they solidify their bond even further by letting the other one know that you will always be there. Not just when you NEED them to be, but when you don't really EXPECT them to be. So, get the ball rolling, have fun, and good luck!